Thankful Thursday: A Loss For Words

Wrestling images swirl where no one sees. Joy and sorrow mingle, riding winds through life's ordinary moments. This leaves me with a loss for words. Even so, thanksgiving comes.

Storm clouds cover and silent white flows down, a bit of heaven on the ground.

A few coins left to feed and somehow we're never left in need.

Oh death, where is thy sting? For life hid in Christ, in heaven she now sings.



Only hearts speak, today. God understands and send His words.

Yet I still belong to you;

you hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,

leading me to a glorious destiny.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

I desire you more than anything on earth.

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,

but God remains the strength of my heart;

he is mine forever.

Psalm 73: 23-26 NLT

Eternity Begins Today

"And this is the way to have eternal life—to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth. " John 17:3

We Christians speak of eternity with Christ, living in God's presence like it's some futuristic event or an ultimate goal, not yet achievable. It's almost like we're living some fairytale waiting for the words "Happily Ever After" to scroll up onto the movie screen as we sit quietly in a dark theatre.

But take a closer look at Jesus' words in John 17:3:

     "And this is the way to have eternal life—to know you, the only true God, and Jesus     Christ, the one you sent to earth. " John 17:3

If eternity begins with the knowing, and if knowing begins when we surrender ourselves to Jesus, then doesn't eternity begin in the here and now? 

Doesn't the knowing occur daily in our pausing, in the sitting in God's presence praying and listening to His voice speak love into our souls? And the more He speaks, the more we know  Him, and the more we fall in love with Him who holds eternity. Isn't that living at the start of eternity?

And soon our daily knowing wells up inside until our hearts yearn to grasp His love in our physical hands and touch his face and we say we're yearning for eternity. But eternity is now. Isn't loving through His eyes and touching through His hands - all those He surrounds us with in this world - count as all eternity, right here, right now? 

Eternity does not wait. No. Eternity is now. Whether an eternity with God or without him, eternity is still now. Eternity begins today. Eternity with God begins with our response to His invitation to know Him and the One - Jesus - whom He sent that we might get to know God in the flesh.

What say you? Will you say yes and spend today and all of eternity in God's presence or will your answer be no? Either way, forever starts now.

Unfading Beauty...Is it Possible?

"Your beauty...should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1Peter 4:3-4

As a woman, I secretly wish for unfading beauty. When I dare look at my reflection in the mirror, I wonder, "Who's that woman staring back at me?" She lends me the not-so-subtle reminder that time ticks by faster than my twenty-year-old self thought it ever could.

I'm grateful when my husband whispers that I'm more beautiful now than when we first married (all together now..."awww") but I can't help but notice the wrinkles, the white hair, and oh yes, the double-digits on the tag of my jeans that creep higher and higher every year behind my back.

What a relief to know God doesn't care about all that! Well...sort of.

I wrestle with God all the time with that gentler, quieter self he's looking for. If that's what God desires of me, then why did he make me who I am...the not-so-quiet, not-so-gentle me?

So, I asked God about this today, "God, how do I cultivate this gentle, quiet spirit you desire?"

God said, "It's in the knowing Me better. It's all about knowing I Am...laying everything about you at the cross; crucify the self - your past, present and future - and consciously let it go. Relinquish control."

In a word, surrender.

It's all about surrendering to God because everything else holds us captive, strangles us until we can't breathe.

But when we breathe God in, He fills - fills us up with His light - and darkness flees. For light and darkness cannot exist in the same place. Light always overcomes the dark, especially the soul dark.

His light fills and softens the dark, makes our rough edges gentler to the touch. And the more we surrender to His light, breathe Him in, the more our bodies warm - soul deep. And when a body is soul-deep warm, it quiets.

And what's more attractive to a captive, smothering world spinning crazy than a gentle, quiet spirit?

So, I stare back at that unfamiliar woman in the mirror and smile.

If I cannot but help surrender my outer beauty to time, then I choose to surrender my inner self, my soul and the essence of who I am, to unfading beauty through God my Creator. I lay all that I am (past, present and future) at the foot of the cross and pray the longer I stay in His Presence, the quieter, gentler Him will shine through this fading beauty. 

And the brighter He shines and spills over, maybe, just maybe the world will surrender, too. And maybe this world will warm - grow gentle and quiet.

Don't Rehearse Your Troubles

"Have I not commanded you, Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Incredibly shy as a young girl, acting became my refuge; a place where I discarded my apprehensions and troubles, crawled into another shell quite unlike myself and safely expressed emotions the real me never could. But, I had to be careful. Rehearsals exhausted me, transformed me and it took hours before I found myself, the real me, again.

Sometimes we rehearse real life.  A problem heads our way and immediately, we imagine all the possible negative scenarios. We turn those thoughts over in our minds - diligently rehearse our parts - until one day our minds transform the imaginary into reality. Our hearts no longer rest, but beat exhausted and anxious before trouble even comes.

Sarah Young puts it this way: "Rehearsing your troubles results in experiencing them many times, whereas you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur. Do not multiply your suffering in this way!" (Jesus Calling, 2008, Thomas Nelson).

On the contrary, God says, "Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go"(Joshua 1:5, 9). Relax. God's got it! He is with us and knows what's up ahead before we do. All he asks is that we seek his face with all our hearts. And when we do, he will fill us with his peace - an incomprehensible peace - even in the middle of our mess.

So, if we're to rehearse anything in this life, it is to be being fully reliant on God. Practice our faith until we're transformed into maturity in Christ.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Joshua 29:13

Lord, may we remember to seek you, not only during trouble, but every day; for this is how we mature in you. May we stop rehearsing our troubles and remember to just be ourselves with you, giving you everything and in thanksgiving, look forward to where you are. In doing this, fill us with your peace.

Thankful Thursday: A Few of My Favorite Things

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

"When the dog bites. When the bee stings. When I'm feeling sad. I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad." Familiar lyrics from The Sound of Music. Remember?

And in a week full of needs, sickness and stress God surrounds me with a few of my favorite things, cheers my heart and restores my soul:

• My family all gathered safe from distant lands
• Warm lemon tea with honey and modern medicine to relieve and heal 

•  Stacks of books

 

• Portable laptop and writing by the fire
• A story's first draft

• Handwritten thank you from a dear friend
• Electronic messages that encourage 

 

•  A new writers group full of dreams and hope

 These are a few of my favorite things. What are some of your favorite things that bring comfort and pleasure, especially when you're under the weather?

Do You Fan the Flame or Snuff it Out?

"For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands." 2 Timothy 1:6

I know disappointment of unrealized, childhood dreams. As a young girl growing up in a single-parent home, there wasn't much dreaming going on beyond my own head and heart. I learned a dream spoken met the breath of impossibility until all that was left was a smoldering wick. I thought keeping quiet and stuffing my dreams deep kept them safe and alive. Quite the opposite. It snuffed them out.

Then, I had kids of my own.

I'd sit for hours, like most new mothers, staring at my sleeping babies wondering, "Who are you? What will you become? What dreams will you dream?"

It was fun watching them grow, finding our similarities carried in their DNA, discovering their peculiarities and listening to their dreams - silly ones and serious ones. And, I allowed them room for BIG dreams - fostered their imaginations, encouraged them to follow that pull - taught them to stare-down impossibilities. 

"If it's from God, make the decision and let God work out the details," is how we lived. We weren't fearless, but we trusted God's lead.

I remember standing with a few mothers outside the elementary school, waiting for our daughters, discussing life, the universe and everything. I'd just signed the permission slip for my thirteen-year-old son to travel overseas with a reputable youth organization that summer...with a bunch of strangers...alone...without me. These mothers gasped, "Aren't you afraid something will happen to him?" Well, of course I was afraid, but I had to trust the reputation of this long-lived organization, trust my son, trust God and allow his dream to outweigh the risks.

This trip was only the testing ground for this mother's heart.

My fifteen-year-old daughter returned home from summer camp with an insatiable desire for Ugandan missions. "I want to go, Mom. If I don't, who will?" For the first time, I considered snuffing the flame rather than fanning the flame. Uganda was not England. Uganda was dangerous, not friendly. She could face real danger. I might lose her. Travel to Uganda at fifteen? Over my dead body!

But then my own childhood memories, my own words reminded me that ALL things are possible and if God's in it, make the decision and let Him work out all the details. So, I relented and we set up boundaries. We prayed God lead us to a trustworthy Christian group with an established Ugandan ministry. Within two years, God answered that prayer and my daughter's now traveled to Uganda three times since with her husband and they're praying about long-term missions there.

Fanning the flame of our dreams (or someone else's), viewing life as God does is tricky. It means giving God ownership of those dreams, taking risks, trusting God, and growing faith. It means staring down impossibilities through prayer and giving up control. That's frightening. But, oh...the possibilities!

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at..." 1 Samuel 16:7b

Don't Think. Just Write.

"The LORD said to me, 'Take a large scroll and write on it with an ordinary pen...'" Isaiah 8:1

From the beginning of time, God commanded his words be written down. He's hard-wired some of us for writing, but we struggle getting started.

Here's what worked for me:

The blank page stared me down, taunted me, challenged me to a duel. "Go ahead. I dare you! Strike this page with ink and scratch your thoughts upon these lines! I. Dare. You."

Early on, that's exactly how my writing practice started. A daily duel between me, my pen and the blank page. Then, I read Madeline L'Engle's memoir, A Rock That is Higher. She grabbed my attention with this tidbit of advice: "Don't think. Just write." She explains, if we think too much about our words while actually writing words, we stop the creative flow of story. As writers, she says, we're allowed to think before writing, think after writing, but never think while in the process of writing. According to L'Engle, over thinking our words deafens us to our inner voice, even God's whispers.

Following her advice transformed my writing process. Before I write anything, I read. I read Scripture, Christian devotionals, and inspirational books or blogs. Reading awakens my brain, feeds my heart and centers my thoughts on God. Here, I'm teachable, inquisitive, questioning, thinking. In the midst of reading, something inspires me, gets me mad, makes me question, starts a dialogue between me, the author and God.

Then, I write.

I. Just. Write. I don't focus on syntax, grammar, punctuation, or voice. It's a tough discipline, especially for perfectionists like me, who scour pages with red pens and cringe at every error. If that's you, too, there's hope. Just. Write.

When my inner voice grows silent, speaks it's last word, then I think, again.

I read and reread my free-hand scrawls searching for a nugget worth sharing. If I find one, my brain goes on high alert and editing begins. Words align into sentences, sentences into paragraphs, paragraphs into a blog entry, a speaking topic, a book chapter, or a children's story idea. I don't publish everything. Some words are best kept to myself. Others are private between God and me.

I. Just. Write. That's what I do. I'm hard-wired that way.

How has God hard-wired you? What form of expression do you find most comfortable?