Compliant Hearts vs Rebellious Hearts

Father & Daughter
by Allsa
flickr.com_photos/38484636@N06/4536997362
CC BY-ND 2.0

If you love me you will obey what I command. John 14:15

Compliant children obey the rules, keep the peace, and respect authority. They're agreeable, reliable and trustworthy, yet easily over-looked because they don't demand constant attention.

Strong-willed children break the rules, argue often, and question authority. They're disagreeable, demonstrative and usually nonconformists. They get all the attention because their behavior demands it.

As parents, we wonder how such opposite children came from the same lot.

Sandwiched

Sad Sandwich www.flickr.com/photos/powellburns/9911704733

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. – Matthew 11:29-10 NIV

The phone rings and I take a deep breath wondering who's on the other end. Is it the insurance company inquiring about our snow damage? Is it my husband asking for help at the office? Is it the nursing home or my mother needing help? Maybe it’s my child needing empathy or advice or simply my grandkids asking for a special outing?

At my weakest moments when the fatigue of caring for everyone else’s needs wreaks havoc with my emotions, I fall into my husband’s arms weeping. "Where do we turn? Who's there to care for us?"

Members of the sandwich generation are everywhere. I see them on Facebook, at the grocery store, in the doctor’s office; adult children with an aging parent on one arm and their grandchildren on the other. Our parents are living longer, thanks to better nutrition and modern medicine—three and four generations needing support simultaneously. So, just when we’re starting to enjoy our empty nests, our parents, children and grandchildren all need us, too. Some days caring for the older and younger generations can leave me feeling like a soggy tuna fish sandwich!

With so many people tugging at our shirtsleeves how do we keep our sanity and build healthy boundaries for our personal lives and marriage?

Afraid to Die

Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Romans 10:13 NIV

She admitted her greatest fear. Whispered it in my ear right there amid a thousand women.
I’m afraid to die.

More than that, she feared she wasn’t “saved enough”, that God’s grace wasn’t “big enough” for all the bad she’d done.

My heart broke right there. Oh, the lies Satan wove into the heart of this precious eighty-something-year-old woman to convince her that her sins were too big and God’s grace was too small.

If we’re honest, sometimes we’re convinced of the same, aren’t we? We’re afraid to die. We compare our sins with another or rate our sins on a scale of 1-10 thinking that our sins are too big for God’s grace.

But the reality is, Christ overcame all sin, no matter how big or small, and for believers in Christ, no sin is counted against him.

God’s grace covers all sin and covers anyone who calls upon the name of Jesus, no matter what she’s done in the past.
For Scripture tells us plainly,

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:23-24 NIV

There is nothing we can do to earn God’s salvation. It’s a gift freely offered by God through the shed blood of His only Son, Jesus, who died once for the salvation of all. All we need do is:
declare with your (our) mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you (we) will be saved. (emphasis mine) Romans 10:9 NIV

I cupped the tear-stained face of this precious woman. She reassured me she’d asked Jesus to forgive her sins many times. So I looked her in the eyes and said,

There is nothing you’ve done that God cannot forgive. There is nothing you can ever do that God will love you less. He is for you. He will never leave you or forsake you. He is with you always.

There are times we all need that reassurance. We need to stop managing our sin or the sins of others, and live in the victory of the cross and the empty tomb! Jesus is alive! He is risen!

Our sins (every single one) have been accounted for once and for all. If we believe in our hearts that Jesus is Lord, then we are justified, made right before God for all of eternity.

How would we live our lives differently if we unburdened ourselves from our past sins and lived from eternity’s perspective?

If we lived in the present, knowing we are fully loved by our Papa-God, embracing ourselves and one another through the eyes of Jesus? What if we truly believed no sin is too big and God’s grace covers all?

Papa-God, no one loves us as fully as You do, flaws and all. You see us only through the eyes of Jesus, Your Son, our Savior, who paid the price for our sins once and for all.  Help us to see ourselves and those around us through His eyes. May we start living the victorious life through Jesus Christ, where Your grace covers all. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Refrigerator Rites

“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:18

Our downstairs reeked of sweaty boys, Mountain Dew, pizza, and Doritos from their all-night LAN party--the male version of a slumber party where they eat, belch, pass gas, laugh, cheer, scream, and play online computer games until dawn. Our dining room looked like NASA's control room, (thanks to my techie husband), where testosterone-driven boys, connected by power cords and flashing screens, fixed their eyes on other-world action and threw themselves into the game.

We only had four rules:

1. Wear headphones after midnight
2. Keep the noise to a dull roar
3. No one leaves the house except with a parent
4. Help yourselves to anything in the refrigerator

Believe it or not, the last rule was the hardest for them to follow. To some, refrigerator rites were almost as personal as snooping through someones dresser drawers; you just didn't rummage around another person's refrigerator and help yourself to their food. But, this rite served two purposes in our home, and we enforced it: First, it relieved me from hostess duty. Second, and most important, it made the boys feel comfortable, like they were at home.

A few of these guys grew up fatherless and I knew what that felt like. I knew how important it was to have a safe place to escape the stress of a broken home--even if it was just for a few hours; a place where they could participate in a whole and healthy family--where two parents lived happily under one roof. Refrigerator rites declare "You're part of the family, part of the whole."

God offers us refrigerator rites, too. He adopts us as his own children (purchased by the blood of Jesus) and says, "You're part of the family. What's mine is yours. Help yourselves." But how many of us shy away, feel like we're eating a piece of forbidden fruit if we take anything from God's refrigerator? Maybe growing up without a daddy makes it awkward at first? We might need more time growing comfortable sharing the same bag of chips before we help ourselves to the last bagel without asking.

One morning after seven years of all-night LAN parties, I found a dollar and a note pinned to my 'frige. It read, "Dear Mrs. Aaron's Mom, Sorry, I ate your last bagel. Here's a dollar. Ben." I chuckled and gave him back the dollar.

Maybe we're like Ben, uncomfortable taking something from God without offering payment, knowing the value of what God's offering. 

Lord, 
Help us to simply accept our place in your family through the blood of your Son, Jesus. May we learn that there is no other payment necessary to find a place around your table. Help us to spend more time with you so until sitting in your presence feels like home--enough like home that we can help ourselves to anything in your refrigerator. Amen.

Centered

Image by Natallo
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CC BY-ND 2.0

May He keep us centered and devoted to Him, following the life path He has cleared, watching the sign posts, walking at the pace and rhythms He laid down for our ancestors. 1 Kings 8:57-58 The Message

“What good is an island no one can find?” grumbles a pirate sailing upon the Black Pearl.

“What good is a compass that’s broken?” asks his mate. “It doesn’t point north!”

“Who’s looking for north?!” retorts Captain Jack Sparrow.

Where's Your Gaze?

Gaze
by Ben Raynal
Flickr.com_/photos/zubrow/5516105138_CC BY-ND 2.0

Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts…Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave all evil in the dust.

Proverbs 4:23, 25-27 (The Message) 

Charging ahead of us towards the playscape, my eldest grandson keeps looking backwards over his shoulder. Eager to be first, he measures his footing not by what’s in front of him, but rather how quickly his siblings and cousins are closing the gap behind him.

Inevitably, he stumbles and falls.

Beyond Words

Rays by Surlan Soosay
Flickr.com_photos/ssoosay/6995846806_CC BY-ND 2.0

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People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7b

I’m a slow forgiver. You?

So, when the sassy girl at work spewed insults under her breath in my direction, my heart hardened. I took mental note and recorded her name on my imaginary “grudge list”. Yep, instead of being the Jesus girl, I chose to be the grudge girl. My motto used to be, “I’m the kindest person you’ll ever meet…just don’t cross me.”

Deep Dark Waters

Image by Steve Conger
Flickr.com_/photos/dukie1/13937228763
CC BY-ND 2.0

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Joshua 1:5b NIV

I'd rather scale the side of a mountain or jump from an airplane (with a working parachute), than dive into deep waters. I find no pleasure wading blindly through muddy silt among invisible, toe-nibbling fish and I panic when my feet can’t touch bottom.

However, heights comfort me ̶ whisper freedom deep inside ̶ lends a broader perspective of what’s below.

God's Dream for Our Children

Image by Mira Shemeikka

If you're joining me here from Encouragement Cafe, welcome!

And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men. Luke 2:52 NIV

I placed my daughter on a plane with strangers heading due east across the Atlantic to Uganda. Luckily for her, the organizer limited parental good-byes to the church parking lot where I choked back fears and sobs.

Tension

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"Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope." Zechariah 9:12

It's invisible, yet palpable. One moment we stand empowered and motivated then collapse deflated and defeated the next. Our God-dream meets reality and somewhere in between tension builds, plays tug-o-war with our hearts and minds. 

It showed up, forty feet high on the tapered pamper pole. Climbing was the easy part. Fully harnessed and tethered to my husband and trusted friends, my hands and feet grasped steel pegs all the way up. But once at the top, I had to let go and tension grew thick between me and the hanging trapeze just beyond my reach.

My reality  - I stood swaying on a two foot square platform atop a forty feet high telephone pole, with only two ways down. One way: admit defeat, and climb backwards. The second: trust my friends, leap forward, grab the trapeze and swing down to a secured platform only a few short feet away.

My perspective deemed the leap impossible, even dangerous. The trapeze? Beyond my reach. The longer I waited, the stronger tension mounted and climbing backwards a welcomed choice.

Abraham knew this tension well - promised offspring more numerous than all the stars his reality shouted "Impossible!" Seventy-five years old and counting, Abraham (and his wife Sarah) partnered with God to transform this reality.

Scripture tells us, "Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him...Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised" (Romans 4: 18-22).

Abraham knew the facts: Twenty-five years passed since God first spoke his promise and nothing happened. His body and Sarah's were as good as dead -  childbearing an impossibility. And even if the impossible became possible, fathering many nations was beyond his reach.

And still. Abraham believed.

Fully persuaded, Abraham believed God had the power to do exactly what he promised. He would father many nations.

Scared and paralyzed from fear, I stood swaying on that pamper pole. Finally, I focused on my husband's words, "I won't let you fall. I've got you! Trust me. Just reach out and jump. Don't think. Just do it."

And I jumped. (And obviously lived to tell about it)!

When our God-dream journey tarries and reality shouts, "Impossible!" we must return to our fortress - God's promise - focus on his words alone, anchor our God-dreams in the reality of God's power and nurture hope.

When we do this we partner with God - with his promises - and he transforms our reality into his reality, making all things new. What seems impossible becomes possible; the unreachable is within our grasp.

Do you trust him? Then, don't think. Just jump!

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well " (Matthew 6:33).

Help! Delegating From Center Ring.

Dawn Aldrich
Children's Author, Inspirational Blogger

I'm guest posting at Encouragement Cafe today. Won't you join me?

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