Unshackled

Prisoner Shackles by Jonathan Dresner
flickr.com_3072374801_db98b198a7_CC BY-ND 2.0

If you're visiting from {re}fresh, welcome!

"But I am freeing you from the chains on your wrists." Jeremiah 40:4a

Tommy walked outside the iron gates a free man, carrying all he owned inside a crisp manila envelope - life simplified. Endless possibilities stretched out before him promised life renewed, but somehow life got crazy on the outside, his past hijacked him and freedom didn't seem so rich or desirable, after all (from the movie, Crazy on the Outside, 2010, starring Tim Allen).

Sometimes we're a lot like Tommy. We find ourselves suddenly unshackled - finally free from our past - and yet we bend down and pick up our own manila envelopes. We peek inside at the past, at the little life we own and suddenly our dreams and desires skew; they veer way off the freedom road.

It's an old, old story and the ending remains the same:

Only God frees

Throughout history God said, leave everything behind - all your possessions, your little life and all it's gods - and follow Me. 

Live life unshackled. 

And when we do? 

                                              God builds us up, prospers us

                                              God plants us, establishes deep roots

                                              God stays with us, protects and guides us

                                              God restores us, brings health and healing

What's inside your manila envelope? Are you willing to leave it at the curb, walk away and follow God on the freedom road? I know, it's easier hanging onto what we know rather than hoping in what we can't see. Hope goes against everything we are, but dig deep and scream, "Help!" He'll come alongside and show you the way - that's the kind of God He is. He's living and breathing and always there when we call. His greatest desire is to free us, restore us to who He created us to be. 

Father, it's so hard to leave behind what we know and walk towards hope in what we cannot see, but today we cry out, "Help!" and take that first step toward freedom - trusting you.  





Forgiveness: sometimes it's like running a marathon

If you're joining me from Encouragement Cafe, Welcome! I'm so glad you stopped by.

Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Colossians 3:14 (MSG)

My husband just ran his first half marathon and I couldn’t be more proud. As he crossed the finish line and limped his way through the medals line, he said he almost blubbered like a baby—not from physical pain, but because he accomplished a significant milestone.

If forgiveness were a race, I’d be a plodder. In fact, when it came to forgiving my dad, it took me thirty-five years to even get off the couch and start training! It’s a common story, Dad leaves his family and a trail of broken hearts behind, but the pain an absent father causes hurts just the same.

For years I prayed, “God, please bring my daddy home. Put my family back together the way it was, please.” However, when he did return to remarry my mother, just before I turned seventeen, life became unexpectedly awkward. Filled with mistrust, I’d built thick, protective walls around my heart so no one—especially my dad—could hurt me again. Although my lips uttered, “I forgive you,” I didn’t forgive my father heart deep.

Fast forward 28 years. I attended a woman’s retreat where the speaker taught on the names of God. Based on the name Abba (Father), she asked us to list all the positive lessons our earthly father had taught us. “Yeah, right!” I scoffed. “What positive lessons could my father have taught me, God? He walked out on me, remember?”

God and I wrestled until dawn when I finally limped toward the chapel, journal in hand. I blasted God for daring to open that closed chapter in my life. Finally, God asked, “Are you done yet?” And God did an amazing thing. He showed me all the positive lessons I learned from my earthly father—because of how God created him and despite his sin. Most importantly, God reminded me that He freely forgave my father, so who was I to withhold forgiveness from him?

I’d love to say I ran home and forgave my father, but I didn’t. I wrestled with God for seven months until I finally surrendered. As I freely released forgiveness, heaven’s gates opened and God’s fullest love and blessing spilled over me.

Forgiveness can be a difficult and painful ordeal. For some, offering forgiveness may be like running a marathon—it may take years of healing and processing before we’re ready. But, whether we forgive quickly or not, the important thing is that we do forgive one another—heart deep and with love.

Is there a person you find difficult to forgive? Won’t you ask Jesus to help you see that person through His eyes and, with His help, make steps toward forgiving that person? Forgiveness doesn’t mean we forget the sins against us, but that we release the hold their sin has against us.

Abba, help us to freely forgive those who’ve wounded us. We surrender our unforgiving hearts and pray for courage to release the hold their sin has had on us and to set them free from our unforgiveness.

I Thought I Knew What Love Looked Like

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Training women to serve 

and influence others for Christ

"The one who loves me will be loved by my Father,

and I too will love them and show myself to them." John 14:21

"Most live life with love gone much unsaid." These narrated words from a new BBC series pricked my heart as I thought about all the years I withheld my love from my father; repressed my childhood affection from the one who walked away and yet returned with a repentant heart. We'd lost so much time play-acting our roles as father and daughter all those Saturdays of my youth, that when he returned in my college days, I didn't know what to do. Showing affection was awkward, at least, and risky. I allowed the fear of rejection to build an impenetrable fortress around my heart, keeping everyone at arm's length, especially my father.

We lived most of the rest of his life with love gone much unsaid until God took hold of my heart about nine years ago. That's when God pried open my soul and revealed to me my earthly father through His eyes. For the very first time, I was able to accept him for who God created him to be, and honor his traits in me without shame. But it wasn't enough to only ponder these revelations. God challenged me to forgive my father face-to-face and to speak my love out loud to him (talk about fear and risk!). God worked on me for seven months before I gained the courage to risk it all and face my father. And I'm glad I did.

While God had restored my love for my earthly father, that love was far from that innocent, untainted love between a father and his daughter. My heart yearned for that which was lost from my childhood; a type of love that now only God himself could restore, for my earthly father passed away last winter. My father and I had left no words unsaid and he knew I loved him and forgave him. I thought his passing had restored all lost love between us and ended my father journey, but recently God taught me differently; that I could not possibly know what a father's love looked like (or felt like) without experiencing it first.

Recently, I stood amongst a few others while the leader of the small group climbed upon a chair next to me, placing me in the posture of a young girl and her father. He then recited my personalized Scripture as though God were reading it himself:

"I cherish you with an unending, undying love. I pull you near and hold you close with my absolute, dependable kindness. Though your world is shaken and the familiar be removed, still my love for you remains - my boundless, unending, immovable love. My covenant, my word, my promise of peace also remains, for I AM tender, gentle and compassionate towards you, always." (Jeremiah 31:3, Isaiah 54:10 personalized)

In that moment I felt four-years-old again, standing beside my earthly father, protected and encircled in his love. God stirred my heart like never before, lavishing His love on me in such a way that words cannot adequately explain. Not only was it a time of restorative love of an earthly experience from my childhood, but more so a God-gift and spiritual breakthrough of experiencing the depth of God's love for me as my heavenly Father.

Jesus said, "A new command I give to you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." (John 13:34 NIV). In the past, I've read how Jesus loved and tried to love as he did, but I could not offer the full extent of his love until I experienced it firsthand. This teaching by Mark Fee in his First Loved to Love seminar blew me away. I'd spent decades trying to love my father as Jesus had taught me, but I hadn't experienced that type of father-daughter love from my heavenly Father at all. I hadn't even asked for it.

The exercise that helped me experience God's love firsthand that day was by personalizing a love Scripture, like the one above. I then read it aloud several times, asking the Holy Spirit to reveal God's heart for me through the Scripture. I recorded our silent conversation and meditate on it daily. I've found it more effective when my husband reads it to me. 

All these years I thought I knew what loved looked like, but God is showing me so much more. He is showing me how high, how wide, how deep is His love for me.

Jesus' Healing Hands

 

Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people. Matthew 4:23 NIV

Hospice interrupted our drawings. Five and three-year-old fingers gripped Crayola's while Dad was slipping away. He only had hours and I needed to go. But what do I tell my grandchildren? How do you explain you're saying good-bye to your dad without frightening them?

They'd already experienced the loss of their grandmother less than a year ago, so they were familiar with good-byes. I wish I could spare them, but these kids are inquisitive and intuitive. While I fumbled for my shoes and waited for their dad to arrive, they asked the question.

"Where are you going Grams?"

(Sharing my heart on Christian Children's Authors blog. Click here to see how God orchestrated this conversation).

When Darkness Shrouds Bring the Light

 

"I am Light that has come into the world so that all who believe in me won’t have to stay any longer in the dark." John 1:46 The Message

Text messages poured in interrupting my holiday errands. Overloading the grocery belt with baking supplies and Christmas feast items, I glanced at the first note. It read, "Are you and the grand babies okay?"

An odd question from a friend, I thought, so I answered, "Yes, why?" Her reply stopped me cold.

"School shooting in Newtown. Kindergartners dead."

Before I could respond, my phone interrupted the cashier's question, "Any coupons?" Another friend texted, "Have you seen the news? I can't believe it! We were just there. Met all these families."

It felt surreal standing amongst Christmas shoppers, joyful greetings, blipping cash registers and questions like, "Any coupons?" knowing only an hour west, Evil ran rampant and darkness shrouded this community my friends and I spent time with in September.

After days of weeping, holding my own children and grandchildren physically close, God reminds me of words He spoke to me just a four days prior to this tragedy.

Darkness always tries to push back the Light, but it cannot distinguish it. Light is always stronger, always brighter, always reveals the Truth. Darkness hides, runs, disappears in the Light. Keep shining My Light.

 

And God gives me this idea: Words Heal.

 

Writers know this truth, don't we? God heals us through words whether we write them ourselves, read His Word, or read others' words. Words bring healing  as we rummage through pain and allow God's Holy Spirit to minister through recording it all. Somehow seeing is believing and seeing our thoughts through the written word becomes very therapeutic.

 

So, I take this thought and share it with an author-friend and God directs our conversation this way: "What if local, CT authors rally and freely offer their time and writing talents in conjunction with the school guidance department and grief counselors and facilitate writers' workshops, teaching the children (all ages) to journal through their grief?"

 

Light pierces the Darkness during this conversation. We can see it - how we can bring Light back into this town shrouded in Darkness; how we can push back the Darkness and reveal Truth.

 

The idea grows: seven local children's and young adult authors and I are in preliminary conversations with the Newtown guidance department to move forward once they settle back into school.

 

Will you help us push back the Darkness and bring God's healing and Light to Newtown?

 

While we wait for the details to iron out, we are collecting journals and asking all who donate to inscribe words of encouragement and healing on the inside cover to the child/student recipient. They don't have to be expensive or fancy. If God moves you to participate, please mail the journals to:

 

Words Heal

c/o Knee High Academy

43 Hall Avenue, 3rd floor

Wallingford, CT 06492

 

To keep up with our progress with the Newtown school guidance department as God moves us forward, please join us on Facebook at Words Heal.

 

May God be glorified as we watch His Light push back the darkness and witness His healing through words.

 

Shining His Light,

 

Dawn

 

 

Journey Towards Healing: Shedding the Old Labels

"...you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the LORD will bestow." Isaiah 62:2

Penny welcomed me into the neighborhood that first day.  Although complete opposites, we remained best friends until the day I moved. Her size and personality overshadowed me but I didn't notice until some boys pointed it out.

Pedaling around the new housing development we rounded a corner where these boys played football on their side lawn--Penny leading, of course. "Fat bannana, skinny bannana! Fat bannana, skinny bannana!" they taunted until we disappeared out of sight. My eyes dampened, my face flushed embarassment and my heart wounded. They labeled us without permission.

Isn't it like that when we fall victim to unwarranted heart wounds of any type? Wounds usually occur without permisson and instantly label us--fatty, skinny, stupid, clumsy, ugly, abandoned, unwanted--fill in the blank_________.

Thankfully, God offers us a new name when we surrender our wounds to Him through His Son, Jesus. He fully restores our hearts, removes those labels we never asked for, and gives us a new name. He did that all the time throughout history and continues to do that today. Abraham (high father) to Abraham (father of many nations), Sarai (contentious) to Sarah (princess), Simon (he has heard) to Peter (solid rock), and Saul (asked for) to Paul (humble).

Are you ready to shed your old label, your old identity and put on your new name in Christ? Why not spend some quiet time today asking God for your new name. What is it He calls you? Is it blessed, beloved, beautiful, creative, strong, graceful? 

"I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it." Revelation 2:7

Oh God, as we spend time in solitude today, peel away our old identity wrought in pain and woundedness. Breathe on us Holy Spirit, wash and cleanse us by the blood of the Son, Jesus. Whisper our new name over us, oh God, and open our ears to hear and our hearts to believe. May we continue to walk upright in this new identity--one given by You, our Creator. Amen.

Journey Towards Healing: Restoration

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10

The act of forgiveness does not magically erase the years of pain or instantaneously heal our heart wounds but it does realign our hearts with God's. Forgiveness gives us a heavenly perspective that dissolves barriers and  makes restoration possible--restoration of our  relationships, our hearts, and our God-given dreams.

Relational restoration takes time and both parties must be willing to work at this. Complete restoration may not be possible, especially if betrayal was part of the break down. Rebuilding trust is difficult work and in our humanness, forgiveness may have to be extended more than once.

Heart wounds leave scars. This side of heaven, no matter how much time has passed, or how well we've healed, our scars still show. But did you know scar tissue is the strongest tissue in the body? Scars remind us not only of our wounds but more importantly that God healed--restored and made new.

In Madeleine L'Engle's book, A House Like a Lotus, her character Polly O'Keefe says, "There isn't anything that happens that can't teach us something, that can't be turned into something positive. One can't undo what's been done, but one can use it creatively." This is how God makes all things good. He takes our pain, our scars and makes us stronger. He intertwines the desires He's placed deep inside our DNA with our scars and makes something good--if we let Him.

Facing my father--offering him forgiveness face-to-face--took months of courage and constant reminders from the Lord. But oh, the sweet walk of forgiveness can never be replaced and I am so glad I stepped out in obedience. That simple but difficult act not only restored a relationship but released God's blessing of creativity in my life that had been locked up for years. He's placed opportunities in my life beyond my imagination and birthed a ministry of encouragement that is at this moment still a work-in-progress.

Forgiveness is a step of obedience and must precede restoration. Withholding forgiveness builds barriers between you and the other person but also between you and God. Although offering forgiveness takes time and courage, it's the only thing that breaks down those barriers and opens us up to the flow of God's blessing and restoration.

Paul reminds us, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new" 2 Corinthians 5:17. Won't you allow God to make all things new?

Oh Lord, thank you for your mercy and forgiveness through your son, Jesus. Thank you for restoring us and opening heaven's gates to us. Help us in our humanity, to offer forgiveness to those who have wronged us, in obedience to your will. Restore us one to another and open up the flow of heaven's blessings in our lives. Amen.

Journey Towards Healing: Identify Your Heart Wounds

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts." Psalm 139:23

No one wants to read how perfect your life is. It's not real or attainable. People want to know that your heart's been wounded--just like theirs--and you bleed red. And, if by some miracle you find healing, a way to soothe the pain--then lead the way to The Way of healing.

 
We carry wounds merely as citizens of earth--Paradise gone bad. The once perfect world created by God's spoken Word, circumvented by proud, scheming, lying Lucifer. Mankind's disbelief in God as Truth and his belief in Lucifer's lie led to disobedience. His actions wounded us all. Generations later, we still wear the scars of that decision but so removed from Paradise, identifying those wounds proves difficult.
 
The first step toward healing is knowing where you are wounded. Where do you bleed? What holds pain? For me, growing up in a broken family wounded me. It's wasn't anything I did or caused but it was my life. And for decades, unable to identify my heart wounds, my heart oozed pain that affected everyone around me. 
 
Then God.
 
Angry from hitting walls--spiritual, financial, relational--God met me. He asked me, "Do you want to be healed?" Honestly, I wasn't sure. It meant letting go of my identity, my victim mentality--putting on humbleness and walking hard steps of obedience. But through it all God's grace, mercy, patience, and compassion strengthened me.
 
What about you? Do you want to be healed? Will you let God show you where your heart wounds lay? Are you ready to turn the corner and change paths?
 
This week, won't you join me as we walk this journey toward healing together?
 
Today, find a quiet spot where you can listen for God's voice. Ask him one question: Lord, where am I wounded? Allow time to hear his voice. Write down what you hear and allow healing tears to flow.
 
Dear Lord, our hearts are wounded--hold years of pain suffered. Show us where our wounds lay. Name the wounds and in doing so, bring your healing waters. Wash over our hearts, cleanse us from the poison of pain, neglect, and lies. Your word says, "{You} heal the broken hearted and bandage their wounds" {Psalm 147:3}. Today, Lord, I ask for healing. I want your healing.