“ 'Come,' he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus." Matthew 14:29
I've said it here before, I'd rather jump from a perfectly good airplane than dive into deep, murky waters, but for some reason God keeps sending me boats instead of airplanes.
Just when I think I'm ready to soar, God sends me another boat and says, "Get in." I roll my eyes and my heart sinks. "What more, Lord? What more do I have to learn about these deep waters? Why can't I soar like a bird and take an airplane instead?" Saying nothing, he gives me wink, pushes off shore, and we set sail into the deep.
I lean in and take notes while he navigates across glassy seas. After awhile, I finally feel comfortable and safe inside that boat, even while cruising above deep waters. Then he jumps out of the boat and beckons me, "Come."
"But Lord! The ocean is deep, really, really deep. And dark," I argue. "I won' be able to see. And it's cold. I can't possibly jump out of this boat. You know how frightened I am of deep, murky water. Surely, as I'm standing here, I'll die if I jump!"
"Do you trust me?" the Lord asks.
"Do you want an honest answer or just the right Sunday school answer?"
His eyes lock with mine and his silence answers my question. Eventually, I jump out of the boat.
That's where I'm at today - overboard and standing in deep, murky waters instead of soaring above them like a bird. And guess what? I didn't die. My feet are wet and cold. I'm frightened and feel ill equipped and vulnerable. I'm definately afraid of sinking, but I'm alive and my Lord's still out here in the middle of the deep with me.
Unlike Peter in Matthew 14, I didn't jump before I thought. I thought a lot and I still don't like deep waters. At. All. But, despite my fears and all my reasoning, I jumped anyway because I love him and my heart trusts him. And if I keep my eyes on Him like Peter did for a few minutes, I'll walk on water.
Then, maybe...maybe next time he'll send me an airplane.