"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever." Psalm 136:1
It had been quite sometime since I'd called them. Christmas had come and gone with barely a "hello" between us and I was feeling a nudge of guilt as my excuses ranging from busyness to ill health seemed lame. So, I finally called them to say "hello" and let them know I love them.
Their voices on the other end of the phone were polite and lukewarm at best. I wasn't sure they cared I'd called at all. There were moments of awkward silence and gaps of air that swallowed me up in self pity. In only a brief few moments, trying as I might to interject any small ounce of joy, excitement or concerned love into the conversation, my heart's wound reopened without permission.
I hung up the phone feeling ten years old again, rejected, alone and feeling unloved by the two people that every child yearns to be loved by and embraced. I asked myself the same question I'd asked a million times before, "What have I done so wrong that they find me so unlovable?"
When I finally returned to the present, I was reminded it's not all about me. They have their own stories, their own wounds, their own colored lenses by which they view and react to those around them, including me.
If truth be told, we all wear colored lenses. The past creates the hues from which we view our lives. But, we are all offered the choice to view life as it really is, through clear lenses of Truth. We just have to choose to accept them, through Christ's invitation, and put them on. When we wear them we see ourselves as God does: holy and wholly loved...forever!
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