An Unknown God

Worship happens. It's what we were created to do. It's the loving someone or something so much that you can't live without "it" and need to spend as much time with "it" as you possibly can. It's the act of loving, adoring, paying homage to the object being worshiped. You don't even have to be particularly religious to participate in worship. It just happens. It's part of how we are made.

During a plane trip from Buffalo, NY to Portland, ME in the mid 80's I had a conversation about this with a man from Texas. It was an intriguing conversation and one that's stayed in my memory for over 25 years. We were exchanging the basic niceties about ourselves and at the time I was serving as a youth pastor with my husband in a church in Jamestown, NY. Well, with that job title the conversation went in one of two ways. It either shut down to uncomfortable silence or it opened up into a full blown theological discussion about God. This Texan was ready for the full blown discussion. After seeing my job title on my business card he asks, "So, according to God, what's our reason for being here?" (or something small like that)!

What blows my mind even today as I recall this conversation is the simple language God put on my tongue. My reply, "Simply? To worship Him."

"That's it?" the Texan retorted.

"Basically, yea" I replied. Now of course the Texan was intrigued and asked more questions that took the short flight to answer. The answers didn't result in him saying any prayer or vowing to love God with all his heart for the rest of his life. I've wondered many times if that conversation had any impact on his life and whether or not he came to know and love God for himself. What I am sure of, however, is that he was introduced to God. A known God.

In reading Acts 17 today, Paul was walking around Athens, Greece and noticed something about their worship. First, that they worshiped! They had built altars and statues of man-made gods with all different names. But, one god in particular stuck out to him. He noticed an altar with no image that held this inscription at the base: "To An Unknown God." How bizarre!

Theologians have two theories on this: one theory is that in 6 BC their land was so plagued with disease that they called on a prophet Epimenides to drive out the disease. His remedy, according to the commentaries, was to drive a herd of black and white sheep away from the area and sacrifice them to whatever god "lived" there. When the epidemic subsided, they attributed it to this sheep sacrifice and built an alter of "the unknown God" to pay homage. Another theory is that these altars show up all over the land at ancient burial sites in order to appease any evil spirits that may "live" there.

Paul was so astonished that these "intelligent" people would worship in ignorance. They worshiped anything and anyone including an "unknown god." In essence Paul was asking them why they put so much credibility in some god that doesn't even have a name? Paul then points out the living God by whom "we live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28). God the living Creator who made man Paul concludes that "From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth...God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us" (Acts 17: 26-27). In other words, if the Greeks were worshipers, why not worship the one true, living God who seeks to meet you when you worship?

Simply, God created us so that we would seek him and find him. That's worship. It's what we were created to do.

My Chosen Instrument

When I speak to an older audience on the subject of writing, I will say, "Writing a book is as easy as telling a story and everyone has a story to tell." For those of us who like to write we use words to create a picture in the imaginations of our readers. Authors are known as word-smiths. We manipulate a sentence, create a paragraph, even make up our own vocabulary at times to evoke a certain emotion. Musicians do the same with sound. They choose a pattern of sound to create a melody, harmony and rhythm that when strung together communicate emotions and create a story in the imagination of their listeners. They use various instruments including the human voice to play these parts that when performed correctly utter the beauty the composer intended.

I have always loved music. My first memories of music come from Sunday church services where all the hymns were accompanied by piano or organ. I loved the sound of the piano. There was something about it that would just create a burn inside of me. I could sit and listen to someone play the piano for hours. I still can. I remember sitting forward in my pew while everyone else stood to sing and I would "play" the hymnal rack as though it were my piano keyboard. How I wanted to be a pianist whose fingers could glide across those ivory keys and move people's souls. Forty-seven years have passed and I'm still moved by the sound of a piano. I don't know how to play even though there is one sitting in my living room but it's on my "bucket list" of things to do before I leave this earth.

God looks at us as his instruments. He created us in various shapes, forms, colors and sound that when put to the task his beautiful composition is performed and souls are moved to worship Him. In Acts 9:15 Luke records God's conversation with Ananias regarding Paul, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel." Paul was the most unlikely person the disciples would have imagined to bring a witness of Christ to anyone! He was the persecutor of the first Christians. He put them to death! But Jesus met him and spoke the truth of God's purpose for his life on the road to Damascus. He took Paul's passion for God, leadership and boldness and used it for his purpose to bring the rest of the world to God through his personal encounter with Jesus.

God has created you to be his perfect, chosen instrument in the composition of his Kingdom. Which instrument are you? Have you asked him what part he wants you to play?

New Perspective

I sit today in a newly remodeled office surrounded by windows on three sides and a wall of books behind me. My view is of my back yard (and that of four of my neighbors) richly shaded in hues of green and a scant of purple from wild violets growing in my lawn. I'm saturated in bright sunlight and a cool spring breeze blows in through one opened window giving me a bit of a chill.

It's an inspiring place to sit and think, to read and finally to write. It's my space. A place where I can shut the whole world out and talk quietly to my Creator or simply share a thought or two with you.

It was a long, long winter filled with stormy, snowy days. The ice backed up into this office after the first thaw in January and did immeasurable damage to the walls and floor. This space of mine was in such disarray I thought I'd never have it to myself again. I searched all winter for the right spot to think and be inspired. My books, my writings, marketing materials and the contents of my desk were in various places all over the house for three months. My mind and my heart don't do well in chaos. I did manage to jot out a few thoughts in my journal and on this blog site. Marketing for "Auntie's House" has gone well and on time despite the boxed-up supplies all over the house.

But, today marks the first day my heart, my head and my desk are all together in the same spot! I literally have a new perspective from where I sit and my heart is full of joy! The ideas for writing more books that have been locked between the pages of my journal or in a folder in a box can now be more creatively unleashed and organized into comprehensible works of art. I look forward to many a day in my space.

It's like this sometimes with our spiritual lives isn't it? We get caught up in the disarray of life. We look for God but can't quite find him in the midst of our mess. We manage to squeak out a few good days with him when everything feels right but it's not the same as when life was normal. In fact the messiness of our situation can begin to feel more normal than when it was neat and tidy. Finally, when the messes get cleaned up and life returns to a low hum instead of a screaming locomotive we find a new perspective; better than the one we had previous to the mess.

So, if you're life is in disarray right now take heart. Escape into God's presence for a few minutes and let Him know He's got your attention. Admit you don't understand what's going on but you're willing to be taught. When life returns to "normal" again, look for the new perspective, breathe in the cool air and enjoy!

Here's to a new perspective!

Bunny

In the busyness of everyday life we tend to lose sight of things. Things like our car keys, our wallet, our cell phone, our shoes. These are important things that without them all of life stops. At those times, everyone in the house comes to a halt, puts down what they're doing and the hunt begins.

I can remember one bedtime when my daughter was about five years old. The routine was going smoothly. Her bath was done, jammies were on, bedtime snack was over and she even helped herself to a drink from the frig. I went ahead upstairs to her room, turned down her covers and got ready for story time. She proudly marched up after me and put her drink next to the bed and climbed under the covers. We snuggled a bit while I tried hard to stay awake reading a chapter from "Little House on the Prairie." Finally, it was time for her kiss goodnight and lights out. As I leaned over a look of panic and heartbreak rolled over her little face. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"My bunny! Bunny is gone!" she cried with big tears rolling down her little pink cheeks.

"Oh dear" I thought. "Where did you put her?"

"I don't know. She's just gone!" she sobbed. And so, the frantic search began.

We looked everywhere: the bathroom, under the bed, in her closet, in her dresser drawers, in the laundry room, the living room, behind the couch, under the couch, in the garbage...I mean EVERYWHERE! I think the search lasted for more than a half hour and still no bunny emerged. Finally, I asked her "Can you remember the last place you had Bunny?" She thought a minute, wiping her tears and retracing all her steps before bed through the heartbreaking sniffs and hiccuping sobs. All the while I'm praying, "Oh dear God please help us find Bunny! Please!"

"I had Bunny all night long except when I came to bed" she finally said.

"Did you have Bunny when you got a drink out of the frig all by yourself?" I asked.

She thought and shook her head "yes."

"Ah Ha!" It's a long shot...but stranger things have happened I thought. "I'll be right back" I reassured her and skipped downstairs to the kitchen. I optimistically opened the refrigerator door and there next to the pitcher of juice was a cool bunny! I imagined Bunny saying something like, "Thhhhaaaannnkkkssss fffor fffffiinddding mmmmmeeee! Ittt wwwwaassss ggggeettting a bbbbit nnnnippy in thhhhere!" Quickly, I snatched her off the chilly shelf and ran back upstairs to my anxious daughter. "Here she is!" I pronounced. "Do you know where I found her?!" I asked. "In the frig, the silly little bunny! You must have set her down on the shelf when you got your drink!" She grabbed her beloved bunny gave her a great big hug and kiss and was well on her way to slumber when I slipped out of her room.

This is one of my fondest memories as a mother for two reasons. First, God showed me that nothing is too small a concern. If it's important to us it's important to him. I can remember being so desperate in our search for Bunny that night that I really did pray for God to show us where she was. It meant security and comfort for my daughter and she would not have been able to sleep without her. I knew this bunny was valuable to her and we couldn't find it without help. I thought it ridiculous at first to bother God with such a silly or foolish prayer but it was a desperate moment. We were talking about Bunny, here!

Secondly, I found God present and living in our lives that night. Although we may have lost sight of something important, God didn't. He was living with us, present and attentive to the details.

Like so many other situations in our lives we can even lose sight of God, himself. But, he's there even if our attention isn't on him. He's concerned about what's important to us. He's active in our lives, paying attention to the details and ready to assist when we call on his name.

Trust Is Risky Business

God trusts us more than we trust him! He entrusts us with His kingdom but we struggle to even trust Him for our daily needs.

This is a paraphrase of the ending thought to a sermon I heard yesterday. This idea that God trusts us more than we trust Him, even with our daily needs struck a chord in me. I'd never given a thought to the fact that God trusted me with anything. When I really thought about it, who am I that God should trust me with anything let alone with helping Him to usher in His kingdom!?!

It's risky business to trust someone~man to man~but for trust to occur between God and man... that's risky business! God risked everything to trust us. He trusted man because he created us in his own image with purpose. First, the purpose of relationship with him. Secondly for managing/ruling over the earth. He not only gave man a purpose but he also gave him the gift of free will. This way God did not demand our love and trust but offered it freely. We had to choose to accept him or reject him. If man chose to accept him he lived within his favor and opened himself to relationship with him. However, man chose to reject him and separated himself from relationship with him. Paradise was lost.

Throughout the history of Scriptures, God continued to restore relationship with man until finally he risked it all through the ultimate sacrifice of his son, Jesus. Why would God do this? To restore Paradise lost. Jesus said "I make all things new." He came to restore God's kingdom to the way it was meant to be. Furthermore, Jesus entrusted us to continue his work of restoration by making disciples until he returns. "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I will be with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:18-20.

If God trusts us to help him usher in his kingdom and if he gives us the authority to continue Christ's work on earth, then why is it so difficult to trust Him even with our daily needs? We risk NOTHING to trust God compared to what He risks to trust us.

Oh Lord that you might restore our sight that we might see what you are doing. Open our ears that we might hear where you are calling. Open our minds to your understanding so that we may truly continue Christ's work in your kingdom. Oh that we might trust you as much as you trust us!

Purpose

I love children! They are such a source of truth and inspiration. Life comes into focus when I watch them busily accomplishing the simplest of tasks. I so understand Christ's love for them and telling us to be like them.

My husband's niece keeps the family updated with her creative blogging and photography of her two boys. She's quite creative in her writing and captures great moments in word and on "film." Today, wanting to just catch up on their lives, I opened her blog and watched her youngest proudly displaying his walking skills. From the initial viewing and by the title of the blog you would think that's all he was doing...walking. But, as the video progressed you realized he wasn't just showing off his walking skills. He was walking with a purpose.

The video opened with him shuffling his little feet from the dining room through the hallway down to his bedroom all the while holding a crumpled piece of paper and saying "cheese...cheese...cheese" 'cause he knew he was "on camera!" If that wasn't cute enough, he stopped in front of an empty box, pulled back the lid and dropped the crumpled paper inside. He then shuffled his way back to the dining room, picked up another random piece of paper and repeat his journey two more times! He wasn't just walking. He was walking with the purpose of throwing away the random pieces of paper.

It was a little task. Nothing profound to us but to a little 15 month old boy, it was a great accomplishment! He had a purpose! It actually brought tears to my eyes because I felt compelled, inspired to write. My purpose.

We all have a purpose. We all have little things and big things to accomplish but some days (like my yesterday) we may feel that all we do in life is meaningless. At times like that we need to go back to the One who gives us meaning and a purpose. We need to open the dialogue with Christ again and allow His truth and purpose to be spoken back into our lives.

Circumstances may either paralyze us or catapult us onto the next step of our journey God has laid before us. Don't spend too much time being paralyzed. Seek for the Truth. Listen for his directions and go forth according to His plans. Walk with a purpose!

Bread

Bread. It has a sustaining power to satisfy our hunger. It gives life. It quiets the pains and grumblings of our emptiness ~ for a little while. When bread is baking it has a sweet, sensational aroma that causes our mouths to water. It's irresistible! We crave it! We can't stand to wait for it. When it's cooled enough to eat we even fight over who gets the first piece. Oh what a treat to bite into a warm, freshly baked piece of bread with soft butter slathered all over it! We just can't get enough!

At the end of Matthew 6, the disciples are asking Jesus how to pray and there we find what we have titled "The Lord's Prayer." In the middle of the prayer Jesus says we should ask for our daily bread (v. 11) "Give us this day our daily bread." Is this talking about our physical needs for the basics of food & shelter? I think it's more. I think Jesus is alluding to himself as our daily bread.

If you look in John 6, Jesus pronounces himself as the bread of life. The bread that sustains us throughout our lives and to eternity. He is the bread that fills us so that we should never hunger for anything more. How much more should we react to Jesus the way we do to a silly loaf of bread? Bread is baked, broken, eaten and gone. Then we demand more, make more, bake more, eat more. Bread only satisfies for a short time. He says in John 6:27 "Do not work for food that spoils but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. (v.33) For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world. (v.38) For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. (v. 40) For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. (v47) I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life. I AM THE BREAD OF LIFE."

Oh, that we would take the time to smell the sweet aroma of the presence of Christ that fills the whole house when we invite him in. "Give us this day our daily bread." Then sup with him on the bread of heaven, his Word (spoken and written). Then, we are truly satisfied.

We Are Pagans

I was drawn to a conversation Friday between two young mothers whom I thought were oddly drawn together. On one hand there was a commonality. Both were immigrants to America. Both were mothers of toddlers. On the other hand the oddity was their topic of conversation. One mother was most apparently a Middle Eastern Muslim and the other an Ecuadorian Catholic. I don't use these descriptions rudely or with prejudice but only repeat how they described themselves in appearance and conversation. For the most part I politely ignored their small talk, not wanting to intrude or appear rude. But my heart was quickened as the Ecuadorian mother spoke of Holy Week.

"What is this Easter Bunny that 'they' (Americans) talk about? I don't understand. We don't have that in Ecuador. We are all catholic and our Holy Week is religious. Do you celebrate a Holy Week in your country?" Not waiting for an answer from her Muslim friend she continues. "I asked my husband, 'Do you know what this Easter Bunny is all about?' He says it's just commercialism. All commercialism. Holy week, in my country is holy, not commercial!"

The Muslim shook her head in agreement with the comment on commercialism but made no comment on Holy Week. And then the conversation was interrupted by the hustle and bustle of children and mothers getting out of class.

My head was swirling. It was an "Ah ha!" moment for me. It awoke in me an awareness of how numb my heart had become to all the commercialism surrounding Holy Week. As Americans we are irreverent to what is holy! My heart sank. This immigrant woman was right! We have watered down the most sacred, holy week of our Christian faith-the death and resurrection of Christ-our source of salvation and eternal life with God-and made it about the pagan celebration of fertility all wrapped up in the cute, fuzzy bunny! What self-indulgent greed! No wonder the world looks at Americans with disgust! We hold NOTHING sacred, especially God!

I've always allowed some of the fun of the "pagan" commercialism but balanced it with the truth of the holiday. My parents always taught the difference between pretending and truth. I've done the same with my children. But, what of those who don't teach with balance? It must be so confusing, insignificant hinging on the ridiculous!

For a country that was founded on Christian principles, freedom to worship God as we chose and to place God in his rightful place above all else, we have veered so far off the road. For the first time I could understand why foreign countries hate Americans. We represent nothing sacred, holy or reverent. We are laughable! We stand for nothing because we have tolerated everything!

Are we truly infringing on someones religious freedom when we begin to water down our own faith for the sake of tolerance for those with no faith or a different faith? We are. We are infringing on our own religious freedom. The freedom to speak the truth from God's Word and to celebrate the sacred, Judeao-Christian holidays freely without apologies! Shall I dare say we are pagans to those from around the world who do hold their faith and God in sacred reverence?

Moon Dance

Friday was a beautiful spring day! The sky was blue with wispy clouds. It was sunny, warm in the low 60's and the smell of new earth was in the air. What made this particular day so memorable was it's evening. The night air was still warm and beckoned us to come outside. So, after dinner Peter & I slipped on our walking shoes and headed into town for a cup of coffee.

I love our town. The old Victorian homes line both sides of the main street amidst the manicured, budding trees. Historical houses donn the names of early settlers and original town buildings, newly restored, remain active with business life. The downtown bustled with restaurant patrons seeking to reconnect with friends and loved ones. The scents of grilled steak and fries, Italian cuisine and the sound of clinking of glasses of wine all filled the air at once as we walked into the Half Moon Cafe. We weren't the least bit hungry but the brilliant presentation of colors on the plates passing by made us think, "maybe." However, not wanting to be shut up inside, we ordered our Jamaican Blue decaf coffee to "go" and headed back outside.

As the voices of the restaurant crowd diminished we took the first sips of our coffee and quoted one of our favorite jazz tunes, "What a marvelous night for a moon dance...!" And we danced our way to a seclude park bench on the town green. We sat together, sipping coffee and whistling "Moon Dance" to each other while the pressures of the week slipped away. We had one of those conversations when you spend time dreaming of the future with no limits and reminiscing of good times from the past. It was a perfect moment in time; a moment you wish you could replay over and over again.

I think of this as my father lays in a hospital bed in isolation awaiting a diagnosis unknown. I think of my mother whose strength is depleted both physically and emotionally because of him. I thinks of this as I witness the not-so-golden years of my in-laws and visit my lonely widowed aunt who struggles with kidney disease. Do they have a moon dance moment to hang onto? All of these thoughts slip into my mind today as I sit in awe of my husband whom I've loved for almost 3 decades. I pray that if there be a day in the future when one of us must sit in isolation or struggle with life, that we can hold onto the memory of our moon dance and know life is still good even when it comes time to moon dance at the banquet of the Groom.

Inspiration

Inspiration. It's the thing, the person, the act that incites you to action. What inspires you? What is it the moves you deeply enough to do what it is you were designed to do?

We think of inspiration when it comes to the arts. We assume the artist is inspired by the object of their masterpiece; the muscian inspired by the subject of their composition; the writer by the main character of their book. Having addressed the question "What inspired you to write?" often since February 1st I know, for me, inspiration runs deeper than the subject.

When I think about writing, I fail at creativity. I start to outline and methodically, logically sculpt a topic. It's empty. Void of emotion. A report. Dull. Uninspiring. It has everything to do with the subject but nothing to do with inspiration.

My inspiration is worship. Worship runs higher than my thoughts and deeper than my emotions. Worship speaks to my heart, my innermost being. It touches the core of who I am and triggers me to move into my passion. It moves the focus off myself and onto Christ. It insights me to express my love for God through music and words. It causes me to listen to the Creator who then inspires me with words.

Tonight, writing is much too methodical. I need to worship.

Patient Endurance

Running. I don't like it much. The constant pounding of my feet on hard pavement, rocks in my sneakers, sweat covered skin, pain in my sides, in my shins, heavy breathing, frantic, heart pounding aggravation is not something I want to feel. (You can tell I'm not in shape).

I do like walking, though. It's more pleasant. It's a slower pace. There's time to take in the scenery, have a conversation with a companion or just simply think. The steps are kinder to the body and there's less focus on pain. Although I may not reach my destination as quickly, I can endure the distance and pain more easily than if I were running.

In either case, running or walking, to go the distance means I have to build up my stamina, my endurance. I cannot expect to run or walk a 5k race if I've not built up my body to go that distance. It takes time and diligence to condition my body and build up the strength to endure. That takes patience as well. Patience to wait for your muscles to tone, build muscles; for your lung capacity to build up and for your mental capacity to mature to push through the pain. But, eventually your body responds and the distance is mastered and your endurance is strengthened.

I can't say I've the ambition to master such a discipline for running or even walking a great distance for any reason. But, I do know that there's a journey of life I'm on that without endurance training of the heart, would be miserable. Endurance training of the heart comes by walking in God's Word often. Take the time to sit quietly, read scripture and invite God's Holy Spirit to speak to your heart. I'd love to say daily because I know that's necessary. Is it a reality for me? Not yet. But, I am working on that. Walk in constant prayer. That doesn't mean to walk with your head in the clouds but in your busyness interrupt your thoughts with prayer for everything. Don't reserve your conversations to times of rest and meditation but pray constantly especially in your busyness. Walk with a companion. My husband's favorite quote is from Winnie the Pooh, "It's always more friendly with two." It's the same in our life's journey. We were created for relationship with God and with others. Wether you are going through the best or worst times of life, open your heart to friendships with those who can lift you up, encourage you and speak truth in love when needed and always point you to Christ.

Over time these few disciplines will build patient endurance to weather the joys, the pains and distances of our journeys as we look toward the goal...Christ's return.

"Prayer Works!"

Each trip to the orthopaedic doc brings a shiver of doubt into Peter's conscience. After two weeks of therapy on his once broken wrist, the therapist accompanied Peter to the orthopaedic's office this morning to witness the miracle she's seen. She too cannot believe a break (actually a crushing) like his has healed without surgery. Again, knowing in his mind and seeing with his eyes the great healing God has performed Peter still questions: "Has God truly healed my wrist? Is He still present in this process? Have I done any damage to it in my therapy process?"

Peter and the therapist sit in the examining room awaiting the newest xrays to arrive. The doc comes in placing the xrays on the lighted board and says, "Unbelievable!" The doc explains that bone has already begun to grow where it needed to be replaced. New, healthy bone tissue is forming miraculously in places that surgery should have held bones together.

He then asks for Peter to show him the range of motion in his wrist and to flex it in all different directions. "Unbelievable!" he says, again. "You shouldn't be able to do that!" The movement and strength are beyond the docs expectations! Praise God!

As he shakes his head, with nothing much more to say, the doc gives precautionary warnings and proceeds to tell him that he will certainly have arthritis in his wrist. Peter replies with boldness, "No I won't. Prayer works!" The doc is taken off guard, chuckles and resolves, "You're right. Prayer does work!" The end.

"Being Sifted?"

The language of cooking has always amused me. Words like braise, scald, blanche, pouche, fold, cream, sift. They're strange words but they define an exact procedure that when done correctly creates delectible flavors, textures or degrees of done-ness that make you ask for a second helping. I can recall trying to follow recipes when I was first married and skipping over the step of sifting the flour because I didn't have a sifter. In the end the baked goods were delicious so what did it matter if I sifted or not? I finally inherited a small sifter from a family member 10 years ago. That Christmas while making my famous ginger snaps I decided to pull it out of the cupboard and sift my dry ingredients like the recipe had always called for. Not only did the recipe call for sifting but it required that I sift twice. "Wow! Picky!" I thought to myself. "What's so important that you have to sift these ingredients twice?" Well, I decided to sift...twice. The texture of the dry ingredients were finer, lighter and the sugar-topped ginger snaps cracked more evenly and nicely in the end. They tasted about the same (delicious) but I must admit they were lighter.

I ran across the imagery of sifting yesterday in my quiet time. Like 22:31 Jesus is celebrating Passover in the upper room (The Last Supper) with his disciples. Jesus has just admonished them for arguing (again) over who will be known as the greatest in God's kingdom. He stresses the point that the ones who are the least, the ones who serve will be considered the greatest just as He has come to earth to serve and not be served. Then, almost abrubtly, Jesus turns to Peter (Simon) and informs him "Satan has asked to sift you as wheat." The footnote on "you" says the Greek meant the plural form of "you." In other words, all of the disciples will be sifted. Furthermore, Jesus has prayed specifically for Peter and asked that once he has gone through the sifting process that his faith wouldn't fail and that it would be used to strengthen the other disciples.

Above is a photo of a native woman from Kenya, Africa sifting wheat. In ancient times this type of sifter was used to separate the good kernals of wheat from what is called the chaff or the impurities, the waste. What remained was the pure wheat kernal, ready for milling, grinding into flour for baking. In today's terms, prior to stainless steel millers or grinders, (in the days of stone mills) impurities were still present sometimes in the finished product. That's one of the reasons recipes call for sifting; to get rid of the imperfect chaff, impurities. Sifting, I've read, also takes out clumps from the flour settling in storage and also adds air to produce lighter cakes and pastries.

So, when Satan is asking to sift Peter (or us for that fact) I don't think he means for the good to remain. I think he is hoping we get irritated with the process and lose our faith. Jesus, however, allows the sifting of His disciples (including us) for the opposite; to shake us up, loosen the impurities from our lives so that the strong, faithful, wholesome, pure hearts remain. In return, Jesus urges us (as he did Peter) to encourage and strengthen the community of His disciples around us.

Is sifting necessary? In one cooking article I read they say no, it's not necessary BUT it does add quality to your baked goods. Hmmm...how telling! Is the sifting of our lives necessary to Jesus, to His kingdom? No, not really. But, the end result will add quality to our lives. It will remove the clumps from settling too long in our pews and will lighten our hearts from the impurities we tend to collect and hold onto over the course of our daily lives.

"Always Pray and Never Give Up"

Why is it that something so simple is the last thing we want to do? We spend more time pacing the floors, wringing our hands, giving more mental energy to worry and concern over things than we do to praying. When I think of how many hours I spend talking about a problem and trying to figure out a solution I am ashamed. Even now as I write this blog entry, I should be praying and not writing. Maybe this is my form of prayer? I don't know.

I think we justify conversations with others, even mental deliberations about our problems as a way to free ourselves from the problem for awhile. I think we even convince ourselves that we may find a solution if we talk things out with others. Sometimes we do find a solution that is agreeable to us and go with it. But, is it the right solution? Is it what God would choose?

Do we seek the counel of others because we simply don't trust God to pay attention to our issues? Do we think God won't answer us in time? Do we think God won't provide for all our needs? Are we skirting around discipline? Are we refusing to hear God name our sin? It's all of that sometimes. But, for the most part, I think we're lazy. I think we'd rather yap and complain about the injustice, unfairness, ill timing of our problems than to take the time to bring it all before the One who can give us the right perspective on it all.

It takes effort, discipline to get alone with God. The conversation seems pointless, one-way (at least that's what we assume) so we convince ourselves it's useless to even begin. But, once we shut out the distractions, close the door to the world around us and begin the conversation with God, we learn He does listen. We learn that God does "talk back" to us when we stop long enough to be silent and peaceful before Him. When we humble our hearts and give Him a chance to say something, He does.

Luke 18:1-8 is the story of a widow who kept going to the judge in town to complain about her injustice. The judge was not a godly man nor did he care for people very much (sounds like some bosses I've had)! Anyway, this judge gets so annoyed with the widow's daily visits that he grants her justice just to stop her from visiting. Jesus then says, "Listen to what this unjust judge says. And will not god bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and QUICKLY."

Luke introduces the purpose of this story in verse 1 saying, "...Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them they should ALWAYS PRAY AND NOT GIVE UP." We could save ourselves so much time and usher in God's power and glory into our lives more quickly if we would just go to him first all the time and never give up in asking for justice.

"Treasures of a Mother's Heart"

When I was a little girl all I ever dreamed of growing up to be was a bride and a mother. I can remember hours spent in our attic, stepping into my mother's old high-heeled shoes and donning a white towel atop my head or an old sheer curtain as my veil and walking the length of the floor as if I was in a large cathedral on my wedding day! If I wasn't playing wedding in the attic I was in my room with all my baby dolls, feeding them from plastic bottles, burping, changing, cuddling them until they quieted down. My baby dolls were my children. If older family members visited with their "real" babies, I couldn't wait to hold their precious ones. I was utterly enthralled with newborns and marveled at their perfectly formed, tiny features. I could sit and rock a newborn for hours. I still can.

Two of the happiest days of my life were when I learned I was pregnant with my very own children! I loved being pregnant, feeling them move inside of me and knowing God was knitting these gifts of life in His image, inside of me. I joke with my children that I "special ordered" them. My husband and I were fortunate to be able to plan for our children and when I prayed for them I was very specific. I wanted two children, a boy first and a girl second. I wanted our son to resemble myself and be a sensitive man like his father. I wanted our daughter to resemble my husband and be a strong natured, tom-boy type girl, unlike me, yet compassionate toward others. (I was frustrated with myself being so fragile and frilly. Life is tough on those who appear weak). And, honestly, God gave me what I asked for but I didn't know it right away.

Mary, the mother of Jesus, didn't pray to be the mother of the Messiah, she was told she would be by the angel Gabriel. She was informed from the beginning that she was carrying a boy, the Messiah, Jesus. She knew he would be the Savior of Israel. Yet, when Jesus was born and the shepherds came to worship, proclaiming the good news of the heavenly host, that this was the Savior, Mary did not join in on the praises and worship. Luke says "When they (shepherds) had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed...But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart" (Luke 2:17-19). Again, in Luke 2: 41-52, is the story of Jesus staying behind in Jerusalem when he was 12 years old, after the Passover to discuss Scriptures with the rabbi's at the temple. When his parents finally found him after searching for three days and nights and repremand him Jesus says, "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" Luke says his parents did not understand and "his mother treasured all these things in her heart" (Luke 2:51). This amazes me each time I read that Jesus' parents did not understand. I mean, they were told from the beginning that He was to be the Son of God, the Messiah...but according to what was written for us to know, I guess they weren't given specifics of His life on earth. And so, enveloped in the culture and day-to-day life experiences, when Jesus did out-of-the-ordinary things or said things that claimed him as Messiah, they cocked their heads to one side and said, "Huh?" It's like life was so "normal" for Jesus that when these extraordinary things happened Mary had to ponder them. They were treasures she had to gather into herself and mull them over in her mind. I'm sure she revisited her conversation with Gabriel hundreds of times! "God, is my son, Jesus, truly your son? Is he the promised one? Is this all part of your plan?"

In the past 22 years of raising my children I too have been like Mary. When I watch my son hold his wife's hand or tenderly hold his newborn daughter I ponder, "Is that my son? How did he become this man of honor?" I am reminded what I prayed for, "a man who is sensitive like his father." And as I watch my daughter be drawn to the missions field in Africa, I'm frightened and ask where did that boldness come from? I am reminded again, "This too is what you prayed for. A strong natured girl with compassion for the world around her." So, my mind and heart are at rest knowing God is in control. My children are becoming what God created them to be and I will not stand in their way. I will love them forever and forever offer them back to God for His purposes all the while treasuring these experiences and pondering them in my heart.

"Words"

Words. I love words. I love creating a picture with words. I love writing and speaking words as much as a painter loves her color pallet or a photographer loves the images created through a lens. Words have power over our lives like nothing else I know because we all use them. Words evoke reactions and emotions from the author/speaker as well as the reader/receiver. They can encourage, love, give life and freedom as quickly as they can discourage, hate, kill and enslave.

We cannot control the words that come at us but we can control what words come out of us. How? It's all a matter of the heart. "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings things out of the evil stored up in him." (Matthew 12: 34-35). Whatever we hold in our heart cannot be contained and hidden but will spill out of our mouths. We can try to contain ourselves, control our words but in the heat of the moment eventually what we really think spills out. Our words, cultivated by the soil of our hearts, reveal the truth of everything we believe.

We've all said words we've regretted. You know, those times when you heard something horrible coming out of your mouth and cringe, reaching out, wishing you could stuff the words back in your mouth before the listener's ears heard them. Jesus warns us about careless words in the next two verses. "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." (Matthew 12: 36-37). That's powerful!

Jesus was addressing the Parisees whose carefully crafted words were spoken as an attempt to entrap Jesus in a snare of trick questions. Jesus was warning them that they would be judged by their words because words reveal the character of their hearts. So too with our words.

If our hearts are filled with the goodness that flows from a relationship with Christ, who is the ultimate lover of our souls, then the words we speak will naturally be good, full of life and a reflection of Him.

"Do You See What I See?"

Imagination. It's limitless. It's freeing. It's the birthplace of new ideas, inventions, stories, movements, dreams. It's where our thoughts run wild with endless possibilities and no one shouts, "Stop!"

When we were children teachers asked us to close our eyes and imagine things all the time. Don't you remember hearing a story and the teacher (or your parents) asked you to close your eyes and think of your own ending to the story? And for a few minutes you were whisped away on a timeless adventure? Your own imagination created the colors, the sights, sounds and emotion of the story. There was nothing you couldn't do or accomplish because you were using your imagination!

God has a limitless imagination, too! He created the universe and all that it holds! He's placed us all somewhere in His story. Do you ever wonder what role you've been chosen to play? Have you closed your eyes tight and imagined what it is you should be in God's story? Have you asked Him why on earth you are here? Have you ever closed your eyes tight in prayer and allowed God to fill your imagination with His story for you? Do you see what He sees?

Oswald Chambers in "My Utmost for His Highest" writes, "One of the reasons for our sense of futility in prayer is that we have lost our power to visualize. We can no longer even imagine putting ourselves deliberately before God. It is actually more important to be broken bread and poured-out wine in the area of intercession than in our personal contact with others. The power of imagination is what God gives a saint so that he can go beyond himself and be firmly placed into relationships he never before experienced."

I'm on a journey of God's imagination. He has given me the stories to write, the words to encourage. He's placed me in front of people I would never imagine I would meet and expereinces I never thought I'd have.

This past Saturday was an example of that as me and my childrens book "Auntie's House" made our debut at the CT Loves To Read Day in Waterbury, CT. As I entered the place of the event I was humbled to think that God had given me this venue to introduce my book. I was humbled that God had miraculously placed these educators in my life at just the right moment. I was humbled that I was able to read and speak to 200 children and their parents. I was humbled that God allowed me to tell my story, to encourage these children's hearts. It was truly an experience beyond my imagination.

We limit ourselves by our own imagination. Had I not trusted God's leading and the encouragement of friends and family to move forward into authorship, I would have limited the power of God's story in my life. I would have limited the power of God's encouragement to others through my life and my story.

There's more of God's imagination to tap into. There's more "wine to be poured-out" into other's lives. There's more relationships to be experienced. God's power is limitless!

"He Loved Him"

Children. I love to watch children play, communicate, manipulate the things around them. Everything is so basic, so simple. They're only concerns are for food, warmth, sleep, being dry and being loved. You keep a child fed, warm and dry and sit them in a corner and they will still complain. Why? Although their physical needs are being satisfied, they still want someones affection. They want to know they are loved. It's a basic need.

I've been reading through the Gospels lately. I love Mark. He didn't waste words or ideas. He's basic in his writing but in fewer words he packs a punch. I have to flip back to Matthew to get the whole picture sometimes, to see why Mark did or didn't add the details. I always go back to Mark and find he saw Jesus through the eyes of basic of human needs.

For instance, look at Mark 10:17-31. It's the story of "The Rich Young Man." If you've gone to church for any length of time you know this story by heart. The rich man asks Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life (v17). Jesus reminds him of the commandments. The man states he has kept all of them since he was a young boy. Jesus says, yeah but you lack one thing and asks him to sell all of his treasures and follow him. The man doesn't want to, hangs his head and goes back home. Then Jesus states the famous line, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" (v 25). Yadda, yadda, yadda.

What amazes me is how Mark includes a description of how Jesus paused before answering this young man about what he was lacking. Verse 21 Mark says, "Jesus looked at him AND LOVED HIM." Wow! That boggles my mind! Jesus addressed the heart issue of this young man who needed assurance of Jesus' love for him before he reproached him with the truth of his heart.

It's the same with our children, isn't it? Before we rebuke their behavior or their heart issues, don't they look at us as if to say, "Do you love me?" Do our children cry when being corrected because they don't want to be wrong or because they think they've fallen out of our good graces and our love? A little of both, I think. But, from my experience children can accept that they need to change a behavior as long as they know we love them irregardless of the change occurring.

How true that is for ourselves and our adult relationships. We all fail at righteousness. We all fail at perfection. There's always something we need to change. We all need to be held accountable for our behavior all of the time especially if we claim to love Christ. But, how fast are we to speak without pausing and looking our brother in the eye and LOVING HIM? How many times do we speak words of rejection, irritation, hate to one another before we stop and love one another as Jesus loved this man? Did Jesus' love for this man stop him from pointing out the problem with his faith? No. The truth must always be brought into the light. But, relationship with this man's heart was forefront in Jesus' mind as he delivered those tough words.

As to changing our behavior? That's not up to man to try to accomplish in himself or in his brother. Verse 27 Jesus says, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." Is Jesus saying we shouldn't strive to change or we don't need to change? No. He's saying it's a heart issue. It's impossible to change any sinful behavior within our own power. It's all about how much we give up of ourselves to the work of God in our hearts and lives.

Should we be accountable for wrong behavior and thinking? Absolutely. Should we show our brother that we love him even when we hate his behavior? Absolutely. Jesus does.

"If You Can Do Anything"

"If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."

"If you can?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."

"Immediately the boys father exclaimed, 'I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!'" (Mark 9:22-24).

How often have we said the same things to God whether out loud or in our own heads? We look at our circumstances and try to reason in our own minds a plausible solution. When we can't figure out how to overcome the problem within our own means or by the help of others, then we finally look to God and say "If you can, help me...if you can find it in your heart, God to have pity on me, then please help." And then, even after the "amen" we doubt not so much in God's ability to accomplish a miracle but we doubt his interest in our problem. We doubt his interest in us.

My husband & I have been living a miracle for the past four weeks. His wrist that was so badly crushed after he fell on the ice, is healing perfectly without surgery. The doctor has admitted it's a miracle and there is no explanation for the perfect alignment of the bones. Yet, circumstances we face in other areas of our lives have us doubting (again) in God's interest in us. We've been guilty of saying to Jesus, "IF you can do anything, take pity on us. I'm sure we've exasperated him. I can even picture him sitting with his elbows on his knees and slapping his forehead with one hand saying, "You don't get it! You ignorant people! How much more do you need to see to be convinced of my love for you and my power and authority in you?! 'IF I CAN?!' Are you kidding me?!"

And so, I am humbled in reading this passage in Mark 9:14-32 and pray, "Lord, forgive me. 'I do believe; help me overcome my disbelief.'"

"Stinging Words"

"I hate you!" are the words I've heard spoken from one believer in Christ to another recently. Really? Really! Those words sting and cut and divide the human heart faster than the sharpest sword. They tell the receiver they are worthless, as good as garbage. We wouldn't allow our children to say that to anyone, why is it okay that as an adult we can say those words to someone?

We all have difficult relationships. We all have attitudes, habits, characteristics that are unpleasant or sinful. In a healthy relationship with an attitude of humbleness and genuine love in Christ, we can address the need for changes in each other. But what appalls me is that someone who claims to walk in relationship with Christ can feel justified to say these to another brother in Christ and then walk away?! Do you really expect any good to come of that?

Christ calls us to love one another as we love ourselves. He calls us to live in a community of faith where we accept one another for how God sees us not as how we see each other. Yes, there is an accountability factor and that's my whole point. We are called to be accountable for our actions and words. That does not give us free reign to accuse and say anything we want to in hate. What gives with a self righteous attitude? What of the attitude of Christ?

In I Corinthians 13 (the LOVE chapter) Paul talks about our attitudes in doing good. "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophesy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and if I have a faith that can move mountains but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. IT DOES NOT BOAST, it is not proud. IT IS NOT RUDE, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. IT ALWAYS PROTECTS, ALWAYS TRUSTS, ALWAYS HOPES, ALWAYS PERSEVERES."

The Giver of the words "I hate you" wants to walk away from the relationship. The Receiver of these words has shut down and is carrying a heavy cloak. I say to the Giver, "Where is the love of Christ in those words? Look in the mirror and check your own heart. God does not give up on the unloveable." To the Receiver I say, "Look in the mirror and see who you are in Christ. Humble yourself before Him and let him search your heart. Know that you are worthy of love. Shed the heavy yoke of accusation. Take on the yoke that is easy."

No one is perfect. Not one. As believers in Christ, we are called to live differently than the world. Why treat each other as the world treats us?

"Afraid Yet Filled With Joy"

Fear and joy. Can you recall any time you've embodied both emotions at the same time? Was it your first day of school, first sleep-over away from home, first date, your wedding day, the day your children were born, their first date, the first time your child drove your car, the day you dropped your child off at college? All of these experiences call on the best of both our fears and our deepest joys, don't they? These are days we all look forward to with great anticipation throughout our lives. They're milestones that mark a readiness, a right of passage into the next level of maturity. We fear the unknown, yet we feel overwhelming joy for the promise of hope these days represent. But, how do we experience the joy with the fear?

We see these dualing emotions of fear and joy in the women who went to Jesus' tomb on resurrection day. In Matthew 28: 2-7 we're told an angel of the Lord had come down from heaven with an earthquake to roll away the stone in front of Jesus' tomb. His appearance was like lightning and he frightened the guards so much they fainted like dead men. The two Mary's at the tomb saw this angel as well and the angel gave them a mission to go to the disciples and tell them what they saw and heard. Matthew 28:8 says "the women hurried away from the tomb afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples." They were frightened at the sight of the angel; frightened at the missing Jesus; frightened at what the others would think of their news. Yet, they moved. They did what the angel told them to do. They didn't let their fear overtake their joy in the promise of the risen Lord.

I've been living within the same dualing emotions since July.

While vacationing this summer I was able to squeak out a bit of solitude.
I was journaling that morning and my mind wandered to times spent with my great niece. She's two years old and everything beautiful embodied in a curly, blond-haired, blue-eyed child. She's as much fun as she is beautiful! As I thought of my play dates with her, a little verse rolled around in my mind. I finally jotted it down on a scrap of paper. I played with the words awhile until they formed a lyrical rhythm. After reading it for the umpteenth time I thought, "God, that's a children's book!". He was listening and answered, "You're right. Now publish it!" I didn't know God was listening to my thoughts! I chuckled out loud at God and folded the verse into my journal. I was "afraid yet filled with joy" in knowing God was moving me toward what He created me to do.

The summer ended. I'd shared the "book" with my husband and a couple of family members. They were very supportive and encouraged me to move forward with publishing but my fear paralyzed me for two months. One night my husband finally said the tough words, "Dawn, you need to get over the fear and take your writing seriously! You know God's called you to write. Now, trust him!" His attitude was more like "I've heard you talk about writing to the point of ad nauseum, now get on with it or don't ever bring up the subject again!" without actually saying those words. It was time. A few days later, I sent an inquiry email to a prospective publisher.

It's now been five months since I sent that email. My book Auntie's House is in production ready for release on Valentine's Day! I'm awaiting the arrival of my galley copy today. I am filled with joy for God's love gift to me! I chuckle again even as I write this today. The book is about trust! Ironic! Do I still embody fear and joy? Absolutely! I still fear the unknown but I'm learning from the Mary's to run in faith and with joy to that which God has asked me to accomplish.


(To order your copy of Auntie's House go to www.halopublishing.com or www.amazon.com.)

"The Promise of Abiding"

"I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10b

There are times in our lives when seeking God with our whole heart seems the furthest thing from our minds. We always seem so bent on seeking Him with only our leftover time. Why is it we are so driven by the world to get things done...today...this moment? Do it now! Go here! Go there! Keep busy! God asks us only to stop, humble ourselves before him and seek him with our whole heart. This takes time. It takes solitude, commitment and a humble spirit.

In 2 Chronicles Solomon asked God only for wisdom and knowledge. God blessed him not only with wisdom and knowledge but because he humbled himself God blessed him with great riches and glory. He is known as the wisest king that ever reigned. Solomon's heart was set on doing the right things in the eyes of God. He was not concerned about what was in it for himself but that he would reflect the righteousness and wisdom of God.

But we are so proud. We want to do everything ourselves and take credit for "a job well done!" We want to be independent. However, an abundant life, the life we're really longing for, the life that is promised by Jesus only comes when we are dependent on Him. It comes only when we ABIDE with Christ. It comes only when we are dependent on God as the source of our strength, our very breath, our needs. It is only by humbling ourselves and seeking after God's delight, favor, His ways, and His voice that we truly begin to live in complete freedom and abundance.

"Defining Abiding"

During the cold New England winters us natives dream of warmer days and temperatures and start to make plans for summer vacations. Vacations are wonderful, aren't they? They give you a chance to get off the merry-go-round of a busy life; to journey to the unfamiliar places; to unplug the technology; to spend time with those you love the most; to relax; to gain a new perspective on life.

Last summer on my trek to Maine, I brought a book entitled I Became a Christian and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt by Vince Antonucci. He starts out talking about vacations. How appropriate, I thought. I'm on one. He made a ton of great points but what stuck out to me in the first few pages was that we all love vacations for the same reasons I mentioned above: the adventure, doing the unordinary, the thrills and that's what most of us are lacking in our Christian walk with Christ. He says it this way, "We're missing out on the joy and fear and laughter and doubt and mystery and confusion of following Jesus, of taking great risks for God, of praying dangerous prayers, even of being spiritually attacked." (pg 17)..."And I think there's a solution. I think we need to go on a vacation!" (p18-19). He goes on to explain that, just like wearing a souvenir t-shirt does not give you the thrills of the vacation spot it advertises unless you've lived the experiences, our life in Christ can be just like wearing the T-shirt or what he calls a "souvenir religion". We can't experience the thrill or passion of living an authentic spiritual life with Jesus unless we "go on vacation" and experience the journey. He says, "A lot of us have been believing and behaving, just not following...missing out on the vacation, the journey, the adventure" (pp. 27-28).

Antonucci admits, like vacations there are exciting times, boring times and really bad times. But irregardless of the experience, vacations are still anticipated because the experiences are different. But, they are temporal and not a long-term solution to living a spiritually passionate life. In following Christ, however, there's the sense of the permanent reprieve from the ordinary life if we ABIDE in Christ. There it was again! That word...A-B-I-D-E! He says it this way, "To live life with Jesus, and to live the Jesus life." Abiding as living life in Jesus is experiencing the presence of Christ within ourselves; God impressing himself on us and changing us. Abiding as living the Jesus life is our outward life; God expressing Himself through us; God changing the world WITH us (p 28).

I love his description of living life in Jesus (p 68): "It's about following Jesus wherever he goes. It's about watching him closely, learning how he moves, anticipating what he might do next and keeping the space between him and me as small (and decreasing) as possible." And I agree! We cannot know Christ, abide with him, without stopping and spending time with him...in his Word, in prayer and especially in listening. That means we have to plan a vacation...everyday! A time to get away from the busyness of our ordinary lives. It doesn't have to be a long vacation but it does have to be a time away. It's a time to refresh our souls and learn new things about ourselves and Christ himself.

"The Beauty in Abiding"

Last summer was a warm and beautiful one here in New England. The sunny days warmed the air and beckoned me outside. One of my favorite spots to journal is on the deck of our pool. It's like another world behind that gate, where I can feel connected with the quietness of my heart and listen for God's voice. On one of those warm and quiet days I dared to ask God, "What's next?" His answer came, "Abide in me." My response was, "What does that look like?" Literally, the rest of the summer God took me on a journey and taught me what abiding looks like.

The first lesson in my journey came the very next day. I was busy with daily chores and went outside to hang up the laundry. About five feet away on the lawn sat two Adirondack chairs. As I reached to hang the first sheet on the line a beautiful butterfly landed on one of the chairs. I didn't think much of it at first since I'd planted flowers in the yard to attract the butterflies. But, after a few minutes when I looked back at the chair, the butterfly was still there, quietly fluttering it's wings in the air. "That's funny" I thought to myself. "Butterflies don't usually linger that long." And in my heart I heard "Abide. Abide with me. Come spend time with me."

I put the wet sheets that were in my hand back in the laundry basket and slowly approached the empty chair next to the winged messenger from God. I sat quietly just studying this beautiful creature. It's wings were like saphire and silk framed in a black window pane frame. It was graceful, peaceful, gently fluttering it's wings back and forth and unihibited by my presence. My heart was quiet taking in all it's beauty; looking at it close up and intimately. Again I simply heard "Abide. Abide in me and I will abide in you. Come spend time with me. I am the vine and you are the branches. Please come...abide with me." The words were gently spoken pursuing me to come. When I'd heard all God had to say the butterfly flew away.

What would I have missed if I didn't put aside my busyness and take a few moments to just sit with that butterfly? I would have missed witnessing its beauty and elegance. I would have missed an intimate moment with God, as well, just stopping and listening with my heart. I would have missed his message, his first lesson in the beauty of abiding with Him.

"Sunrise"

Did you ever watch the movie "The Bucket List" starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman (2007)? It's about two men in their late 60's or early 70's who are given only months to live. Instead of spending the rest of their time regretting what they hadn't done, they made a list (the "kick the bucket" list) of things they wanted to do before they "kicked the bucket" and did them, together.

Peter & I have such a list. We started it years ago but we call it "Things I Want To Do In My Lifetime." One of our dreams is to road trip and tour all the coastal states of the U. S. We've already been down the southern coastal states to US mile marker 1 South in Key West, Florida. This summer we traveled as close to US mile marker 1 North in Maine before we hit desolation. More than just traveling to that numeric destination, my dream was to watch the sunrise in Eastport, ME where it rises first in the U. S. Here's what happened:

At the furthest northeastern point of the United States all lay quiet and still in the wee hours before daylight. Assured that daybreak would soon arrive, my mind was still restless and worried that this miracle would pass before I awoke. I quietly roused myself from the antique bed twice, hoping not to waken any other lodgers at the bed and breakfast, to check the time and peer out the window toward the eastern sky. I was like a little kid on Christmas Eve, trying to sleep but anxiously waiting for Santa to arrive, hoping not to miss him. Finally, my anticipation was broken by the softest alarm. It was 4:30 am and we had only twenty minutes before the sunrise in Eastport, Maine. "It's a glorious morning!" I said to Peter. "Wake up before we miss it! There's no fog. The sky is pale pink and the sun will greet us. Let's go! I don't want to miss it!"

We quickly threw on our jeans, a sweatshirt and hats. We stepped into our sneaks and tip-toed through the house and out the front door toward the dock across the street. The cold Atlantic sloshed underneath the dock as we disrupted the stillness with our hurried steps. We found our spot amongst the lobster pots and line of anchored boats. Looking out across the horizon was Deer Island and Campobello, Canada. Digital camera in hand, video camera running, hearts pumping, breath-holding we watched in silence until...it came.

It seemed forever yet was only moments as we witnessed a perfectly orchestrated concert before the curtained sky opened and the "star" appeared. Across the glassy, slowly rippling waters a pod of dark gray porpoises promenaded in perfect, arching rhythm along the distant horizon. One, two, three, four...all in turn; always in synch. One at a time or side-by-side they arched in perfect time against the pastel morning sky. They swam off together stage right. What an awesome sight.

On queue, twenty five yards or so in front of us, just beyond the buoys a mighty, arching, water-spouting finback whale surfaces! He arches once, spouts and down again. Then twice and then again and again until he swims off. It was spectacular! It was as though God was announcing the break of day! Our hearts were overwhelmed as we watched in awe of the strength and beauty of this creature that rocked the waters underneath the dock.

As the waters calmed again into a glassy surface we heard a clapping sound, like applause. Peter and I looked at each other like, "What is that noise?" And then a school of herring swam by in a perfect triangular shape, slapping their fins against the surface of the water in front of us. They too exited, stage right and front and center, the sheer, whispy, pastel curtains of the sky parted and the "star" appeared...right on queue! We welcomed it with our own applause and tear streaked faces, praising the Creator for his magnificant show!

We sat on the dock in silence for another half hour just soaking it all in and marveling at the gift God had just given us before we headed back for breakfast. It wasn't until we shared our delights of the morning with the owner of the B & B that we realized what a miracle God had performed that morning...just for us. According to the owner, the morning sky in Eastport, Maine is always foggy. Very, very rarely is there a visible sunrise. Not only that but the natives had not seen fin back whales in their ocean for years. They were afraid they had moved off shore to a more favorable environment or died off. He was encouraged to know we'd seen one.

Leaving the breakfast table that morning, we were again overwhelmed knowing God had given us a precious gift. We felt loved and knew we'd been visited by God himself that quiet morning.

"Vibrations of Life"

"Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will grow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life!" Proverbs 3:7-8 MESSAGE

This was the verse God gave Pete last week when we chose to believe He would heal Pete's wrist without the aid of surgery. The doc had laid down the gauntlet of challenge saying, "barring anything miraculous holding these bones together, surgery will be inevitable." We believe in the the God of miracles and we felt Pete's faith was given an opportunity to grow.

Wednesday, Pete was annointed with oil and joined in agreement of faith and prayed over for healing of the wrist. Nothing incredible, nothing spectacular was heard or felt. Doubt, anxiety it played a little part as we waited 24 hours for the next set of xrays to show the evidence of healing.

Thursday morning the doctor said he could not believe the bones were still in place. He couldn't promise that surgery would make it any better. He agreed to leave it alone and see what happens. Still, evidence of doubt in his voice.

Throughout the weekend, Pete could feel twitches, pressure, activity in the arm. He was so affraid the bones were drifting apart. Quickly, dismissing the doubt and anxiety I quipped, "No. The bones are vibrating with life!" We prayed again and again, thanking God for the healing He was performing but secretly our hearts still wondered. "Is this too good to be true. Is God truly choosing to heal this bone or are we going to be disappointed?"

Monday morning. Another x-ray. We both wait, anticipating the doctors words. Finally, he enters with a smile, puts up the x-rays for us to see and with a chuckle in his voice says, "I can't believe it but your wrist looks even better than it did on Thursday! I really expected to see the wrist bones totally drifting apart. But they appear to look more mended and better aligned than last Thursday!"

Whooohoooo! A faith the size of a mustard seed was being honored for the glory of God! Unable to hold it in, Pete shared with the doc what God was doing; that we were trusting God to perform the miraculous.

Monday...another check up. More of the miraculous testament!

"Distractions"

The warmth of the sun beneath my feet;
the sound of a fountain as it beats
upon the water of the pool creates
neverending rings that never meet.

A bird is calling to his mate;
his chirping, singing states
an impatinece for her reply
that she seems only to deny.

In the distance a sound;
a plane that can't be found
but lingering still
my ears attest I am not ill.

Distractions all to my heart's cry;
"I want to hear you!" I sigh
as home they come, one by one
and my soul clamours for what had begun.

A time of solitude;
a time of great gratitude
my listening ears and expectant heart
still long and say "Don't depart!"

Lord, I know you're there;
waiting for me to prepare
a place for you to show your face
where I will long for your embrace.

"Yes, Virginia...there is a God of Miracles!"

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old. "Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. "Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.' "Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?"

The above quote is from the famous NY SUN newspaper article written September 21, 1897 by Francis P. Church, "Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus". It's also been documented in a Christmas movie by the same title in the 1990's starring Richard Thomas. It's one of those stories that we all identify with if we've ever believed in Santa Claus and then one day were confronted with the reality that he does not exist at all!

I remember very clearly the Christmas I "found out" Santa wasn't real. I was only three years old. It was Christmas Eve and I woke up to noise coming from the attic stairs. I snuck out of bed and found the attic door wide open. My parents stood motionless with a child's rocking chair held between them. With the innocence of "Cindy Lou Who" from the "Grinch That Stole Christmas" I asked, "What are you doing up there?" and "Why are you carrying my rocking chair down from the attic? I thought Santa was suppose to put it under the tree?" I don't quite remember their response but from that moment on, I believed only the stocking presents were from Santa.

That discovery so affected me that when my children were very small, we went to elaborate means to keep Santa's identity part of reality. We did a good job. I think one of my children believed in Santa until the 7th grade! Don't worry. My husband and I confessed our lies and told the truth to save them from any further embarassment amongst friends!

In the midst of this struggle of truth and lie, I was reminded yesterday how easy it is for us to believe a lie over the truth! We had asked a sister in Christ to pray with us for healing of Pete's broken wrist. When she prayed she said "Father how easy it is sometimes for us to believe the lie of the Enemy (Satan) but so difficult for us to believe the Truth of Jesus." How true this is!

At that moment I was again reminded of Matthew 21:22 "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for." Not a "name it and claim it" belief but a true, child-like belief...if you say it is true, Jesus, then it's true! (Matthew 22:14-17). In this passage Jesus said to his disciples, they had the authority to do exactly what He did and more. (v21) "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done."

We prayed with the authority of Jesus over Pete's wrist yesterday, trusting and believing that God would align and heal his bones properly. We believed that the bones would be held in place and no surgery would be required. We prayed with the authority given to us by Jesus, who said "believe."

Today, new X-rays were taken. The doctor was "amazed" that the bones were still aligned with no drifting. There was only a very slight misalignment that may shift into place on its own. He could no longer recommend surgery in hopes of the bones getting any better results. He agreed to leave it alone and monitor the healing process every few days for the next couple of weeks.

To have belived the lie that there is no power in prayer for healing would have resulted in bondage, physical pain, financial hardship and no glory to give back to the Lord. But, to believe the Truth in this situation has brought a greater faith in God, joy, community, financial relief and testimony to the power and glory of Jesus.

Is there a God who heals? Who performs miracles, still? "Yes, Virginia, there is a God of Miracles! And his name is Jesus!"

"Out of the Mouths of Babes"

Sunday was an exceptionally beautiful winter's day. The sun was shining, the air was cool and comfortable. The ground still held a thin blanket of snow. It was a great afternoon for a hike! So, Pete & I made the trek up Sleeping Giant to the "castle" about a mile and a half ascent to the top.

On the castle roof above the tree line the milky half-moon was visible against the clear, winter-blue sky. The sun began it's descent along the horizon and so we began our own descent back down the mountain. We felt the air cooling quickly as the light dimmed. Our feet less confident of their steps as gravity helped us down. The first icey patch Pete's feet gave way and gravity won. Gravity "1". Wrist "0". Still, a mile to go before we reached the bottom.

Our evening was spent in the chaos of the local ER and the results were challenging. Pete's wrist was broken...a fracture with multiple pieces at the joint of the wrist. The doctor performed what he called a "reduction" and was pleased by the position of the bones. He thought Pete would avoid invasive surgery.

At the follow-up visit yesterday, the doctor wanted Pete to have the surgery this afternoon for no other reason than his past experience with such a break always ends up with the bones drifting and surgery inevitable. The bones were still in a good position and could heal properly "if by something miraculous the bones stay where they are." We asked him why he would pre-empt the surgery if the bones were still in place. Candidly, he answered, "because it's my day in the OR and I figured I'd fit you in on my rotation." We asked for time and opted out of the surgery today with another follow up on Thursday to see if the bones show any sign of drifting.

In a time of prayer two weeks ago, asking for God to speak what he has planned for him in 2009, Pete was given the word "FAITH". With that in the forefront of our minds and knowing that the bones were in place AND knowing the doctor used the words, "by something miraculous" we chose to pause. We asked, "is God doing something here? Is he growing Pete's faith?"

For two days we've second-guessed ourselves. We're affraid of making the wrong decision. Affraid to be disappointed if God doesn't heal his wrist, miraculously. Then, tonight God brought me to Matthew 21:14-22. First, Jesus is healing the blind and the lame in the temple. Children are witnessing these miracles and proclaiming, "Hosanna to the Son of David!" The religious leaders are furious and challenge Jesus by asking him what he makes of such a claim. He replies, "Have you not read, "'From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise?'" The second part of this passage, Jesus is with his disciples and commands a fig tree to wither. When they question how he did that with just a word he explains they have too been given the authority to do the same and much more!

So I ask, "does our ability to reason hinder our child-like faith?" I believe it does. Why do we fail to simply believe in the power of Christ in us and through us to do the miraculous? We don't believe. We don't want to be disappointed. What do we say if it doesn't happen?

I don't have the answers. Neither does Pete. But, we're willing to pause and ask God to do the miraculous. Will you join us?

...to be continued...

"Heights and Depths"

I'd rather scale the side of a mountain, jump from an airplane (with a working parachute, of course) or climb a tree than to be in the depths of any body of water. There's something about the darkness, loss of sight, the pressure of the water against my body and the inability to stand on my feet and breathe in the air above me that makes me fearful of my life. I begin to panic when I'm thrust into the ocean or a lake. Yet, I love the shoreline, the beach, the ocean breeze against my face, the sand under my feet and the wildlife that lives there. It's just the depths of the water that frightens me. Mostly, I think, because I can't see or breathe.

In the heights, however, I feel free. A view from the top brings a broader perspective of the landscape below. It holds a beauty and an air of its own. Parachuting?! Well that's just a crazy notion. My husband thinks there is NO reason why anyone should want to jump from a perfectly well functioning airplane! But, I imagine flying like a bird! Have you ever watched a hawk or an eagle just gliding in a thermal air current? It's peaceful, beautiful. I want to be that bird! To be able to see the world below me, and to be enveloped by the blueness of the sky, to feel the wind and the controlled free fall of my body sounds exciting to me. But, I am reminded each time I bring it up, it is not a responsible thing to do when one is the matriarch of her family! Harrumph!

In 2000 we had an inground pool put in our backyard. Not one of those sports pools that are only 5' deep but one that's 7 1/2 feet deep with a diving board. Our kids were in their early teens and we thought it would be a great way to "entertain" them and their friends and help create some family fun times. One problem: I would be the one that was home when the friends came over after school and my swimming skills, let alone life saving skills because of my fear of depth were poor! (My husband was certified in water safety)! So, I had to face my fears in order to be a responsible mom and pool owner!

Every weekday for about a month a very patient, kind and compassionate friend got me in the pool and taught me the water skills I needed. She didn't throw me in the deep end. I would have said, "See ya later, Charlie!" Instead, she lead me into the water, in the shallow end. She stayed close. She spoke softly. She never paniced with me. She praised me when I did something right and encouraged me to practice my weaker skills. Finally, by the end of that month, she had me confident enough to jump off the diving board and land on the bottom, under 7 1/2 feet of water! (I had to look away from the water, I must admit! I actually looked to the horizon above the trees and imagined flying or jumping out of a plane)! But, I did it! I now enjoy being in the pool...even the deep end! Not so much in the ocean, though.

There are times in our walk with God that he leads us into the depths, the unknown, the places that are murky, where we can't touch the bottom and stand and where we can't catch our breath. In those times He's teaching us something: trust. God spoke to Joshua, whom He chose to lead the Israelites to the Promised Land after Moses died, saying "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Josh. 1:5). His promise is the same for us when we are heading for the deep and unknown places. He calls us to rely on Him as the source of our lives. He speaks to us softly, gently encouraging us along the way; always close by. The challenge is within ourselves...our own will.

"Gentler Nudges"

Bright, morning sunlight woke me from my winter's nap. Taking a moment to return to reality from my untitled dream, I finally remembered it was the first day of 2009. A new day, a new year yet to be filled with life's experiences and memories. Laying in bed, enjoying the sunshine, my mind scanned through the days of 2008 and I concluded, it had been a great year.

I'd been healed from concussive headaches in February. My first granddaughter, Dakota was born to my son and his wife in May. My daughter graduated highschool in June. She met a wonderful Christian man and was engaged in July. God gave me the gift of a phenominal sea life pre-show and a clear, summer sunrise at the shore of Eastport, Maine in July (where it's always foggy...not that day!). I wrote my first children's book, also in July. The Field family announcement of expecting a new"great" baby was made in August. God gave my husband a deer his first day of bow hunting season in September. Halo Publishing Int'l accepted my manuscript for publishing in October. We found a new Spirit-filled church family to worship with in November. My daughter and her fiance signed up for a Ugandan missions trip in November (a 2 year prayer request for my daughter). The announcement of another new "great" baby to the Field family was made in December.

The year was not void of crises. It was not void of needs or cries to God for help. But, amidst those crises I was lavished with gifts from the Creator. I do not welcome crises more than any other human. I'd rather a life filled with opportunity, prosperity and blessings over trials. Trials are uncomfortable, irritating, inconvenient and sometimes sad and heart-wrenching. No one I know bids them come voluntarily. Yet, it is usually through crises that we are more likely to take a long hard look at our hearts and motives; to reevaluate our priorities; to change our courses; to beckon God's direction and listen to His voice.

I was reminded of this today when I opened Oswald Chambers, "My Utmost For His Highest" and read these words, "...before we choose to follow God's will, a crisis must develop in our lives... This happens because we tend to ignore God's gentler nudges." I'll not argue if God is the creator of crises (good or bad). That's not the point. What is the point is that we tend to either be ignorant of God's voice or ignore God's voice when He speaks His will into our lives. His will may seem ridiculous, irrational, unobtainable to our human selves. So, if we follow logic, it must not be God's will and therefore we go forward in our own will.

The Bible tells us that His ways are not our ways and that in our weaknesses, Christ becomes our strength. It's all about abiding and submitting to Christ. If we abide with Christ (spend time in relationship with him through reading his Word, listening to his word spoken through the Holy Spirit, praying to/with him) we will get to know him. We will get to know God. In knowing God we will know His love for us and our hearts will then align with His desires for us; His will for us. We will then be able to respond more quickly to His "gentler nudges" instead of enduring more crises from time to time.